• Polysics@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Pink all the way. Rude to some service worker? Poopy pants. Didn’t return the cart? Poop. Drive like an asshole? Poop. Politician spewing hateful garbage on national television? Oh you bet you’re getting the poopy pants.

    I would be The Punisher, only with poop instead of guns.

  • BroBot9000@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Pink and I would dedicate the rest of my life to making Elon Musk shit himself literally every time a camera is pointed at him.

  • BlueFootedPetey@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    If take the purple pill, can I do that to anyone anywhere on Earth? Or just people nearby? Anywhere on earth, the purple. Just nearby, toss up between purple and a weed gummy. Do I know the strength of the weed gummy?

  • _stranger_@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I like that it’s “Forced”. If it was just “make people shit themselves”, it would just happen and then they’d wonder what’s going on But Forced implies they’re fighting it, it implies resistance. That’s kinda messed up.

  • Seigest@lemmy.ca
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    4 days ago

    The older you get the more your going to want that poop command to use on yourself.

  • chiliedogg@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Is the poop something that has to be done in-person?

    Does it have to be assigned to an individual, or can you decide that everybody who uses the word ‘rizz’ regularly will now poop?

    Or is it like Death Note where you have to have a specific person in mind? I would totally be down to be the Kira of pants-shitting. I’d be the God of a stinky new world.

    Problem is that in the US I’m fairly certain our leaders are already forced to wear diapers. The President who was elected 32 years ago is younger than the President who was elected 2 months ago.

  • dumbass@leminal.space
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    4 days ago

    Pink, you can control any situation with that.

    You got some dude coming to attack you with a knife? Point finger guns at him and say “Poop”, they poop instantly stopping them in their tracks, confusing the ever loving fuck out of them… Then you do it again while they stare at you, slowly working out it’s you doing this.

    You walk up to them as they slowly try to retreat from you, you hit them one more time and walk off into the distance, leaving him to try to get home without anyone noticing he pooped his pants, because who’s gonna believe him?

    • ArgentRaven@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      He tries to run, but you slow-walk towards him, chanting “poop!” with every step. His pants are heavy, and blood starts to show through his jeans. “I’ll cut your guts out!” he helplessly bluffs. Soon, he crumples up and screams as his guts start emptying into the street; his denim is no longer able to hold the carnage. You see him lying dead at your feet.

      You turn back towards the United Healthcare headquarters, and resume your march.

      Now, it is finally time to see at what point explosive diarrhea is covered…

    • Capt. Wolf@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      What I want to know is, do I have control over consistency, force, and quantity? Is there a limit to the range for this power? Do I need line of sight or is it more of a “Death Note” thing? Can I cause defecation syncope? Can I make someone poop themself to death?

  • figaro@lemdro.id
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    3 days ago

    Pink would be politically beneficial. You could legitimately make major progress in the world with that power. Someone who disagrees with you tries to speak publicly? Time to poop. Hell. Just harass them with explosive diarrhea until they notice the trend that whenever they do something political, the diarrhea returns.

  • xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    This is among the shittiest color combinations for colorblind. I only see two colors of pills: something magenta-ish and something yellow-ish

      • xx3rawr@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        Silly me! That is convenient. Btw I’m torn between “Make your crush like you but only as a friend” pill and “Forcing people to poop on command” pill, though I’ll probably choose “Forcing people to poop on command” pill because it is sillier than “Make your crush like you but only as a friend” which fits silly ol’ me

  • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Assuming I could force somebody to poop on command with little effort beyond sheer willpower, I would absolutely take it upon myself to dish out petty justice with that power.

    I see you being rude to people working in a service job? You get poopy pants.

    I see you playing music on your phone or otherwise being obnoxious on the bus or some other public space? You get poopy pants.

    Are you driving like an asshole? Following too closely? Cutting people off? Honking the moment the light turns green? Words can’t express the satisfaction I will feel in knowing that you’re now sitting in your car with the poopiest of pants my power could possibly muster.

    • GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip
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      4 days ago

      I would immediately try to weaponize it. Spend a weekend making putin telepathically shit his brains out without pause should probably be enough to make him die from the sheer loss of matter and nutrients.

          • sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz
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            2 days ago

            PAUL MCCARTNEY: I’ll never forget the first time I heard the Brown Note. I’d been wearing my favorite trousers that day. At least they were my favorite trousers.

            RINGO STARR: At first I assumed I was hearing one of John and Yoko’s weird sound experiments. After a few seconds I knew it was bigger than that. I mean the sound moved me — moved me bowels that is.

            PAUL MCCARTNEY: A sound that makes you crap yourself? That’s the power of music, man. As soon as I heard it I realized: The Beatles gotta break up. Well, there were other reasons, but that was definitely a reason.

            From, and continued here, for those interested in statements from other musicians on The Brown Note.

    • Valmond@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      Okay, but at all times there is a mass of constipated people surrounding you, lining up in a queue in front of your home, begging you to relieve them! And obvioysly many havent really thought about where to go about it if you help them…