Ok so i learned about a person coming out as non binary recently and this reminded me of my confusion about (i think they’re called rolling pronouns) she/they and he/they specifically.
I have looked around at some sites speaking to it but none of them have made it clear to me whether use of “her” or “him” instead of “theirs” in the case of someone who wishes for (s)he/they is misgendering.
I had (mis)understood before that (s)he/they meant they were fine with either their gendered pronoun AND the gender free option, but am i way off base? Is the “they” not an option?
Apologies if this is breaking rules or has been answered, i didn’t see anything on the sidebar so here goes nothin…
Ah thanks. I guess asking is always the correct answer! i was thinking more about how one goes about referencing those that you can not ask i.e. people you read about online or in the news. I think I’ll be a tiny bit more confident going forward, thank you.
If you can’t ask and you don’t have a way to know, I’d just use either they or whatever they put first if they do have them listed. I have known 3 people in my life who were “she” and then “she/they” and then “they/she” and then are now just “they”, kinda a comfort thing for them. They start out trying they, realize they like it enough that they want it to be primary, and then eventually are just like fuck it I don’t need the she anymore. So it helps to ask and be okay with being corrected since I think it’s rare that someone instantly fully understands their gender now and forever, for a lot of folks it’s a more fluid thing.