I would probably have to read a text from my employer saying I need to come in to work regardless.
oof, ouch. That rings true.
Zombies are the mental representation of mob uprising in the minds of the bourgeoisie.
So, my first question would be: why am I seeing zombies instead of revolutionaries?
Does that mean I am part of the bourgeois class? Do I secretly manifest some bourgeois mindset that even I am unaware of?
Then, I will close my eyes, pray hard to Marx and Engels to repent my sins and ask them to let me in to join the proletariat side.
After reciting various passages of Das Kapital as if they were Bible verses (years of studying theory prepared me for this moment), I will open my eyes every so often and check if I still see zombies. If not, keep repeating until I no longer see zombies, but revolutionaries.
Then, and only then, it is time to gear up and join them. This is the moment I have been waiting for my whole life. You have nothing to lose but your chains!
Rrrrr… chaaaaiiiiins.
Send… more… bourgeois…
I’d still just take the dog for a dang walk and collect myself afterwards.
Brave, I would be scared of how the dog and zeds might interact
join the horde obviously
She-ra time-
damn it theres no zombies in she-ra
but can i get dibs on a cop
As a quisling or actually just be like “time to get bit”?
It’s a bourgeois horror that befalls landowners, it’s the ravenous immigrants and the mindless poor.
I’m joining the zombie revolt and you should too
I like being alive though…
in this economy?
Look, subsisting off brains is certainly cheap. However, it is ultimately evil.
Think about it, the easiest people to kill and eat are going to be working class comrades. The rich are going to be being walls. Probably guarded by guns.
Stopping the dead tide is a proletarian thing to do because it saves more workers than not doing so
yes that’s the fantasy, that folks can hunker down and survive the onslaught.
but we’re already zombies, and they’ll shoot you just as quick. The zombie horde is a bourgeois representation of class consciousness tbh.
Zombies of the world unite, we have nothing to eat but their brainsThat’s not wrong, but I truly think if faced with zombies that solidarity with the living is a top priority.
We aren’t killing them though, we are welcoming them to the glorious horde and achieving a classless free society!
anti natalism in a different guise, but yeah sure technically not wrong
fill all containers with water, fasten plywood overall egresses, eat everything in the fridge/freezer, flip breaker service disconnect and gas shut off, relocate into attic with homemade periscopes, dry goods, batteries, and blankets.
Initiate Void Protocol
journal my descent into madness
journal my descent into madness
Came here to say this, gotta do the Resident Evil thing and leave journals everywhere
Put on roller skates and as much padding as possible so I can be the super zombie
Roller sport badass would definitely survive
No I’m gonna get bit and then be extremely hard to take down.
Like a dead rising boss fight. A badass roller boss with a hammer and sickle dual wield build would end so many noobs
zombies with neck braces gang
“This makes absolutely no sense, there has to be something more to what’s happening. Is this fake? Have I been drugged?”
Also, this is why everyone needs to join an org because they would probably be a good group to help people.
CPUSA starting a “not actively rotting Caucus”
Crap Piss USA
Crap Piss Urine Sex Authoritarian
I would construct an elaborate set of puzzles and traps inside my home consisting of locked doors and sliding blocks that produce keys
Drink my piss for less than recreational purposes
When I was a kid in the midst of the whole “zombie apocalypse” trend in media with the Walking Dead and so forth, I drafted a zombie apocalypse survival strategy. This strategy involved going to the Bolærne Islands, presumably by driving through the countryside to somewhere on the eastern shore of the Oslo Fjord, then taking a boat to Bolærne.
My idea was to build a self-sufficient society with collective ownership of resources, governed by a system of decentralization, whereby each of the three islands would govern themselves by consensus, and would directly elect a representative who could be recalled at any point, to a council of leaders to make decisions concerning the archipelago as a whole. The citizenry would be united in pride, and identified to others and themselves, by a symbol under which they could rally: a vertical tricolor of green-red-white, centered in each stripe a five pointed star, two white, the flymost red.
“Heh, kind of funny to use a red star, makes this place look like some sort of commie thing, lol”, I said to myself.
My logic was that, firstly, zombies can’t swim, and Bolærne would be easier to defend due to its military history; secondly, the location of Bolærne would allow this “republic” to be a vital trading outpost for all survivors in the Oslo Fjord region, thereby guaranteeing Bolærne has a high amount of regional influence among survivor factions, and a high degree of independence due to its self-sufficiency; and thirdly, this system of collective ownership and decentralized governance would have the greatests chances of distributing scarce resources fairly in a way that would maximize comfort, survival, peace, and democracy, particularly as writing down legal documents might be difficult with a presumed paper shortage and lack of electricity.
In those days I didn’t know what a “commune” was. I’d heard the word “communism” but only associated it with “no food 100 billion dead”. I sincerely believed that this would only be a temporary step, with the ultimate goal of restoring society “back to normal”.
I’d probably be mildly excited to have a break from the usual monotony of capitalist wage labor. No more schedules for me, time to barricade my front door and make body armor out of saucepans
If you’re just trying to protect against bites I bet a couple layers of say, denim would do just fine. Human teeth aren’t very powerful.
Don’t forget to cover your neck. They always neglect the neck in movies!
no, i am going to cosplay ned kelly
I have a pet theory that if there ever is zombie outbreak or meteor strike or something, the burgerlands are going to have a rougher time of it because everyone saw Mad Max and went “Yeah, that looks about right”
oh absolutely. In an actual apocalypse scenario, acting like a Fallout raider is probably the fastest way to get yourself killed as you make as many enemies as you can very quickly and constantly put yourself in life or death combat
Poor Ned, you’re better off dead!
I would tell them they are violating the NAP.
Die, probably!
Make a rudimentary ghillie suit and then head toward the nearest military base to scavenge
Then after weeks of preparation, head to Langley to acquire state secrets for historical preservation and the names and addresses of certain individuals who committed crimes against socialism in the old world
Probably head to Mount Weather next, to see if I can pick up their trail before I start scouring addresses around the country and begin hunting
Either way zombies will be the least of their worries
