Remember boys and girls, we born different, we build different. We have a lot in common, but than there are your relatives, friends, teachers, city where you were born etc. You can compare two things only if you have all other variables are equal, which is impossible. Doing your best is different everyday as well as every month and every year. Achievements of others shouldn’t bother you, only your life goals should.
I was gonna say something like this but you already said it, so imma add to yours
Everyone is talented in some way-- you might not be able to sing, or do acrobatics, or drive a racecar, but you can do other things. Everybody can do something, yes your somethings might be different but that’s normal and perfectly fine. Things like talent and beauty are purely subjective, and even if you think you have neither of them that’s just your opinion.
I do agree with this as well, but wanted to add a little something that might give a different perspective.
Let’s say you are extremely gifted at being a computer engineer and you don’t know it. Nowadays probably you start fiddling with computers and eventually find out.
Let’s say that you are gifted for this, but instead being born nowadays, you were born in the 1800. There is no way to know you were a gifted computer engineer back then because, well, computers didn’t really exist.
The inverse also applies as well. If you are extremely good at lightning up street lamps, nowadays that skill is not relevant, since no one needs to light up street lamps manually anymore.
I do think these skills have usually some sort of equivalent (even tangentially) and you find out what you can be good at. Is it your optimal skill? I do not think we can effectively know, since everything is not available from both present, past and future, all at once to be exposed to.
Before digital computers existed, humans were the computers! (first referenced as an occupation in 1613)
Skills are transferable, though there definitely are many cases where people aren’t able to access the tools and education they might need to make the most of their talents because of lack of privilege and systemic oppression (which basically means facing more obstacles to gain access to the same tools and education as the most privileged get handed to them).
So when you were born definitely matters, but so does where, to who, what gender you were assigned at birth, how abled or disabled you are, and so on and so on…
That does make sense, but I don’t quite agree. To continue with your gifted-computer-engineer-from-the-1800s example, they aren’t just good at computers-- they have the underlying skills (problem solving, attention to detail, able to apply abstract concepts to concrete objects, taking account of the whole system, good at maths, etc) and if they were born now, they also have an interest in computers. But if they were in the 1800s they would still have all those things (except for the interest in computers) and they’d be able to apply them to be good at other things
Don’t compare someone’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes.
I once convinced someone that they are actually doing a great job by sharing my struggles and showing that they are not an impostor. They now outshine me and will go to even greater heights.
And while that one episode of dealing with burnout and impostor syndrome is a drop in the ocean of their persistence, it’s a great illustration to how misleading comparison to others is.
PS: Also, if you have ADHD, you’re nearsighted in time. That doesn’t only mean “you can’t plan well”, it means “your life looks like a hazy blob, where others see a complex scenery”. And that can be devastating when doing a comparison. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.
It should also be mentioned that “talent” doesn’t exist. Anyone that is good at something has put a ton of time and effort into practice. You’re not born with skills, you refine them. Doesn’t matter if you’re an insanely skilled artist of some kind or if you’re a darkness-dwelling, aurora-ignoring retro game speed runner, if you’re good at something its because you earned that skill through countless hours of practice.
Thankfully it’s usually quite easy to dispel this myth by saying “then why are you bad at maths”. We all had the same number of hours in maths class as kids, but some had to practice WAY MORE to achieve a passable grade.
Most people can’t be Mozart. Some dedicate their lives to music, and do not get a fraction of the way there.
“Talent doesn’t exist” is a lie we tell ourselves as a society because our individualist culture sells us a pipe dream of personal greatness that many/most people literally aren’t equipped to achieve no matter how hard they try (and we should try regardless).
You think we all had the same amount of hours in math class as a kid but you conveniently ignore variables like focus, interest and after hours practice, among others I can’t think of I’m sure.
If you took guitar class with me back in high school and only practiced during class and for assigned homework, I’m absolutely smoking you right out of the gate because I’m also spending 3hrs minimum every night practicing for fun. Double that on most weekends.
Its all about the time you put into the skill. If you are engaged with practicing a particular skill because you genuinely enjoy it, you’re going to have a much easier time than someone who struggles to enjoy it. Math class is the perfect example. Many kids loathe math class while others love it. The kids that love it are gonna engage with it with more focus both in-class and at home. That practice and study directly translates to proficiency.
Nah, I hate maths and never studied at home. Still did way better than kids with difficulties that were studying way more.
Not studying didn’t pay off in higher education (focus issues, possibly undiagnosed ADHD or related), because talent ALONE is not enough anymore, but before then I had an objectively easier time than most and that was with little time or interest devoted to it.
We ALL use the concept of “left” and “right” daily. I’ve been doing that instinctively without a problem since I was, like, 8. Some adults still need to use a mnemonic every single time. Is that because they don’t have enough interest or didn’t spend as much time on it as 8 yo me did? Of course not.
I have put hundreds of hours into one of my hobbies, digital photography. I really like it. I have watched and read plenty of theory and know most of what there is to know about what makes a good picture. My photographs are only halfway decent and nowhere near what they should be given my time investment. And that’s OK, because I know it’s not because of anything I did and I like the hobby anyway.
Your argument does not have a leg to stand on. Someone with music agnosia cannot learn to play the guitar like you do. Dyslexics cannot “just study like I did” their way into being good at mental arithmetic. Pretending that skill is ONLY a function of time and drive is extremely pretentious and factually incorrect. It’s the “you’re depressed? Just do like me, think happy thoughts” of education.
I never mentioned anything about disadvantages because it should be self evident that if you are at a disadvantage for X reason you’re gonna have a bad time.
I myself have essential tremor. My muscles shake significantly when they are engaged. Trust me I know what its like to dig out of a hole when almost everyone else is standing on level ground to begin with.
Talent implies that people are born already being multiple chapters ahead of their peers in their skill refinement story. That’s just simply not true and believing that does nothing but perpetuate “woe is me” attitudes.
Practice is what digs you out of the hole. Someone could have all the supposed talent in the world but if they don’t practice and learn they won’t be able to keep up. Practice is all that matters.
I bet your photography is a lot better than you give yourself credit for. Everyone is their own harshest critic. You might be sitting on photos that some people would think are gold. I hope you’re sharing them even if you think they’re not so hot.
Now you’re just reaching at straws to comfort your worldview. I could explain to you that I never was a huge gamer (and only started spending significant time gaming around 12 y/o), and that I am hugely uncreative (in the traditional sense at least) despite having played with dolls as a child. But I get the feeling that you’ll just come up with more explanations why I somehow unconsciously “trained” the things I’m naturally good at.
Anything to avoid facing the fact that brains, like bodies, aren’t all created equal and identical. To pretend they are is completely ridiculous. Yet we do so because admitting that not everyone is born with equal potential breaks through the veil of The Meritocracy™, Karma™ and all the other little lies we tell ourselves to avoid facing the fact that the world is fundamentally unjust.
yes thisss i wanted to say this.
if theres something u really really wanna do but dont have a talent for it, learn it, practice, get better and u can do it.
applies to virtually anything
Remember boys and girls, we born different, we build different. We have a lot in common, but than there are your relatives, friends, teachers, city where you were born etc. You can compare two things only if you have all other variables are equal, which is impossible. Doing your best is different everyday as well as every month and every year. Achievements of others shouldn’t bother you, only your life goals should.
I was gonna say something like this but you already said it, so imma add to yours
Everyone is talented in some way-- you might not be able to sing, or do acrobatics, or drive a racecar, but you can do other things. Everybody can do something, yes your somethings might be different but that’s normal and perfectly fine. Things like talent and beauty are purely subjective, and even if you think you have neither of them that’s just your opinion.
I do agree with this as well, but wanted to add a little something that might give a different perspective. Let’s say you are extremely gifted at being a computer engineer and you don’t know it. Nowadays probably you start fiddling with computers and eventually find out. Let’s say that you are gifted for this, but instead being born nowadays, you were born in the 1800. There is no way to know you were a gifted computer engineer back then because, well, computers didn’t really exist. The inverse also applies as well. If you are extremely good at lightning up street lamps, nowadays that skill is not relevant, since no one needs to light up street lamps manually anymore.
I do think these skills have usually some sort of equivalent (even tangentially) and you find out what you can be good at. Is it your optimal skill? I do not think we can effectively know, since everything is not available from both present, past and future, all at once to be exposed to.
Before digital computers existed, humans were the computers! (first referenced as an occupation in 1613)
Skills are transferable, though there definitely are many cases where people aren’t able to access the tools and education they might need to make the most of their talents because of lack of privilege and systemic oppression (which basically means facing more obstacles to gain access to the same tools and education as the most privileged get handed to them).
So when you were born definitely matters, but so does where, to who, what gender you were assigned at birth, how abled or disabled you are, and so on and so on…
That does make sense, but I don’t quite agree. To continue with your gifted-computer-engineer-from-the-1800s example, they aren’t just good at computers-- they have the underlying skills (problem solving, attention to detail, able to apply abstract concepts to concrete objects, taking account of the whole system, good at maths, etc) and if they were born now, they also have an interest in computers. But if they were in the 1800s they would still have all those things (except for the interest in computers) and they’d be able to apply them to be good at other things
Those computer engineers born in the 1800 would find an interest into something similar that wasn’t computers.
Like data manipulation, or drawing technical plans for steam engines.
Yeah, I can shitpost real good…
Built different (incorrectly)
Nobody is build incorrectly
(yes I know it was about a typo, but this comment on its own looks to hostile)
Fuck off mate. Not everyone is born healthy. Some of us have syndromes.
thx, I am stupid (:
Don’t compare someone’s highlight reel to your behind the scenes.
I once convinced someone that they are actually doing a great job by sharing my struggles and showing that they are not an impostor. They now outshine me and will go to even greater heights.
And while that one episode of dealing with burnout and impostor syndrome is a drop in the ocean of their persistence, it’s a great illustration to how misleading comparison to others is.
PS: Also, if you have ADHD, you’re nearsighted in time. That doesn’t only mean “you can’t plan well”, it means “your life looks like a hazy blob, where others see a complex scenery”. And that can be devastating when doing a comparison. Be kind to yourself, be kind to others.
It should also be mentioned that “talent” doesn’t exist. Anyone that is good at something has put a ton of time and effort into practice. You’re not born with skills, you refine them. Doesn’t matter if you’re an insanely skilled artist of some kind or if you’re a darkness-dwelling, aurora-ignoring retro game speed runner, if you’re good at something its because you earned that skill through countless hours of practice.
Talent definitely exists.
nuh-UH. Nope.
Talent ≠ practice ; talent + practice = greatness
Thankfully it’s usually quite easy to dispel this myth by saying “then why are you bad at maths”. We all had the same number of hours in maths class as kids, but some had to practice WAY MORE to achieve a passable grade.
Most people can’t be Mozart. Some dedicate their lives to music, and do not get a fraction of the way there.
“Talent doesn’t exist” is a lie we tell ourselves as a society because our individualist culture sells us a pipe dream of personal greatness that many/most people literally aren’t equipped to achieve no matter how hard they try (and we should try regardless).
You think we all had the same amount of hours in math class as a kid but you conveniently ignore variables like focus, interest and after hours practice, among others I can’t think of I’m sure.
If you took guitar class with me back in high school and only practiced during class and for assigned homework, I’m absolutely smoking you right out of the gate because I’m also spending 3hrs minimum every night practicing for fun. Double that on most weekends.
Its all about the time you put into the skill. If you are engaged with practicing a particular skill because you genuinely enjoy it, you’re going to have a much easier time than someone who struggles to enjoy it. Math class is the perfect example. Many kids loathe math class while others love it. The kids that love it are gonna engage with it with more focus both in-class and at home. That practice and study directly translates to proficiency.
Nah, I hate maths and never studied at home. Still did way better than kids with difficulties that were studying way more.
Not studying didn’t pay off in higher education (focus issues, possibly undiagnosed ADHD or related), because talent ALONE is not enough anymore, but before then I had an objectively easier time than most and that was with little time or interest devoted to it.
We ALL use the concept of “left” and “right” daily. I’ve been doing that instinctively without a problem since I was, like, 8. Some adults still need to use a mnemonic every single time. Is that because they don’t have enough interest or didn’t spend as much time on it as 8 yo me did? Of course not.
I have put hundreds of hours into one of my hobbies, digital photography. I really like it. I have watched and read plenty of theory and know most of what there is to know about what makes a good picture. My photographs are only halfway decent and nowhere near what they should be given my time investment. And that’s OK, because I know it’s not because of anything I did and I like the hobby anyway.
Your argument does not have a leg to stand on. Someone with music agnosia cannot learn to play the guitar like you do. Dyslexics cannot “just study like I did” their way into being good at mental arithmetic. Pretending that skill is ONLY a function of time and drive is extremely pretentious and factually incorrect. It’s the “you’re depressed? Just do like me, think happy thoughts” of education.
I never mentioned anything about disadvantages because it should be self evident that if you are at a disadvantage for X reason you’re gonna have a bad time.
I myself have essential tremor. My muscles shake significantly when they are engaged. Trust me I know what its like to dig out of a hole when almost everyone else is standing on level ground to begin with.
Talent implies that people are born already being multiple chapters ahead of their peers in their skill refinement story. That’s just simply not true and believing that does nothing but perpetuate “woe is me” attitudes.
Practice is what digs you out of the hole. Someone could have all the supposed talent in the world but if they don’t practice and learn they won’t be able to keep up. Practice is all that matters.
I bet your photography is a lot better than you give yourself credit for. Everyone is their own harshest critic. You might be sitting on photos that some people would think are gold. I hope you’re sharing them even if you think they’re not so hot.
Talent might be practice because you used the same part of your brain on other aspects of life.
For example, if you gamed early in life, this “practice” may contribute to you being good with your brain, which makes you “talented” in math.
Playing with dolls in early life may lead to being more creative, and this being more talented in drawing.
The practicing begins the moment you start interacting with the world.
Or something along those lines.
Now you’re just reaching at straws to comfort your worldview. I could explain to you that I never was a huge gamer (and only started spending significant time gaming around 12 y/o), and that I am hugely uncreative (in the traditional sense at least) despite having played with dolls as a child. But I get the feeling that you’ll just come up with more explanations why I somehow unconsciously “trained” the things I’m naturally good at.
Anything to avoid facing the fact that brains, like bodies, aren’t all created equal and identical. To pretend they are is completely ridiculous. Yet we do so because admitting that not everyone is born with equal potential breaks through the veil of The Meritocracy™, Karma™ and all the other little lies we tell ourselves to avoid facing the fact that the world is fundamentally unjust.
yes thisss i wanted to say this. if theres something u really really wanna do but dont have a talent for it, learn it, practice, get better and u can do it. applies to virtually anything
As an enby, I’m going to choose petty spite and forget that we’re born different