At least Dave got rid of that reverse Flock of Seagulls piece of shit.

I viewed this comic and a cartoon worm started eating all of my icons.

Brain fart, I guess.

I believe his father was fairly ambiguous in the original film. I don’t know that he was ever intended to be Maximus’ son, but be did have a bond with Lucius, and be was definitely implied to be an old lover and likely a mashing buddy of his mother’s.

I can’t fully articulate the reasons why, but I dislike the entire speed-running culture. I’ve always been someone who sinks as deeply as I possibly can into the environments that games provide, placing a lot of value on carefully crafted details, flora, object clutter and ambience.

Speed-running is essentially the exact opposite of this, and it takes what was intended to be an enjoyable escape and gamifies it beyond recognition. It becomes a sweaty, disgusting mess of button mashing, sprinting, wall-glitching, exploitation, and a bastardization of mechanics. I definitely get why some people find this interesting, but I just can’t find the off-switch for how much I hate watching it. It’s in a similar ballpark as extreme min-maxing in modern MMOs, where people get so addicted to arbitrarily raising numbers by the smallest margin that the game itself just evaporates into the background.

To me, it’s like someone took art, sucked the creative soul out of it, and turned it into a math game.

For anyone who has been to the Yukon Territory and gazed upon its majesty, King Charles can get fucked. That province may as well be a wild horse. Even Alaska is a giant let-down by comparison.

Me attempting to take the time to read twenty poorly formatted articles per day, broken up into fourteen paragraphs each and seperated by what I assume are intended to be hundreds of intrusive ads and completely diverging from what the headline baited me into thinking this ad (er… article…) was about in the first place:

Hey, Google… What’s the best way to suck a dick?

…

…

…

“Sorry, I don’t understand… But I found something else on the web. Do you want to know when sucking a dick, what’s the best way to do it?”

… Yes…

“Okay! … According to Dickopedia, when sucking a dick, the best way to do it is to place the dick deep in your mouth and schlurp on that thang while you suck on that thang. This will make it extra schlimy and grimy! When the blowjob was invented in 1876 by Massachusetts-based baker and suspected witch Edward (Schlick Eddie) Von Howth, schlurping was not a part of the east coast maritime vocabulary. According to --”

HEY GOOGLE, STOP.

3 or 4 days. Abuse of stimulants. Not sure my body could handle that in my late thirties.

I watched a bit of Outlander with my wife, and I (way too) often think about the scene where the king of France is casually sitting on the toilet surrounded by men, trying really hard to take a shit and having no luck whatsoever. Dude thinks he’s cursed or something. He’s in a lot of pain. Jacobite main character speaks up and tells him about porridge. King is like, “Yeah right. The fuck are you? That’s peasant food.”, and Jacobite is like, “Nah. Eat your porridge, lad. It’ll do ya fine.”

And it did. He ate his porridge and shit so good.

The pro-Russian propoganda on social media clawed them right back. The climate went from “How can we help stop the atrocities in Ukraine?” to “Why are we sending so much to Ukraine when our own country/veterans need help at home?” and other such bullshit they’ve never truly cared about or contributed toward.

It can, but it comes out more like “ROOVE ARONG RITIZEN!”

Dude has been marinating in fields of garlic for the past 38 years.

Being an entomologist would be sweet as hell. You walk into the lab on a Tuesday morning and Jerry, a gray-bearded researcher with spectacles and a friendly demeanor is like, “Hey, come over here, Kevin. Come look at this bug.”, and you go over there and see the coolest fucking bug.

I would like to, but four-year-olds aren’t exactly sanitary and there isn’t much I could put her to work on that doesn’t involve contact with fresh produce, so I’ll probably never have the chance.

I dislike it as well, but not as much as Depth of Field.

The EL in Elon stands for both elf and elongated. But not his penis. Not his penis.

Whang talking about some guy peeling the skin off of his own penis and feeding it to a dog or something.

Theme Hospital (thumbnail) was dope. I used to rent the PS1 port from my local video store, but never came across it for PC. Used to love Bullfrog Entertainment back in the day and played the absolute hell out of Dungeon Keeper. Theme Hospital wasn’t nearly as good, but there was something super chill about designing waiting rooms and deciding where to put the vending machines. For whatever reason, the waiting rooms were always my favorite part.

Shame we never got a proper Dungeon Keeper 3. War For the Overworld is a worthy successor, and getting Richard Ridings ('ELLO, PEPPA!) back to narrate was a boss move, but I don’t care for the new creature designs that almost (but don’t quite) emulate Bullfrog’s creatures. Just doesn’t feel right without a few fat bile demons dragging themselves around your corridors.