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Why is this necessary? Ukraine is winning and killing 500,000 ruzzianZ a day. If anything Putler should be gooning his soldiers, not Zelensky
Ummm???
Actually, all of this shit is old news, now, apparently, Uke’s been doin’ it at Feb 2023, just recently afterwards…
Also the whole ‘The gene seed must be preserved at all costs’ thing
It’s disgusting. Literally this is the first time in human history that this is happening. Like how do they even store it?
They just freeze the sperm in samples I guess…
I mean, anything is on the table right now, for all I know… that’s life…
Imagine the pornos that will come out this. It’s gonna be like that one scene in The Boys where Hughie is at soldier boy’s place while that “weird” video about his character is playing
Artificial population growth post war.
That’s literally the dumbest thing, just let the civvies populate for you.
Very dumb to go after cum that’s gone bad
Especially weird when you’re basically genetically indistinguishable from the “asiatic horde” invading you.
Why are fascists always obsessed with semen?
Birthrates, mythologised blood, cheap labour
Blood and soil ideology and practice, egh…
Blood, soil and semen.
Sebum retention, mostly
Begun, the cum wars have.
Reporting for duty, I’ve prepared for this my entire life.
The brave soldier running into the battle field to collect his fallen comrade’s cum like
Why do I get a feeling someone is going to make a warhammer comparison
“Did the apothecary recover the battle brothers geneseed?”
Aye, along those lines. Goes well with the NAFO fucks treating those nazis as some kinda supersoldiers, “yeeting a gazillion orks each minute”.
Make one comrade. You know you want to.
NOT LIKE THIS
AAAAAHHHHH ASIATIC HORDE
ASIATIC LOAD
Not sure if support, where’s your bike?
Cum for the cum god!
Semen for the semen throne
The year is 2045, the Great European Water Wars between the various european ethnostates are raging for nearly a decade now.
Field medics aren’t equipped with any first aid kids, only with a castration device with a built in freezing unit so they can extract as much white cum from their fallen comrades. The captive brood wives are already waiting to be inseminated with warrior cum in the fertility clinics.
Azov Nazis collecting cum? This was foretold
Azov milk maiden Valkyries are on the horizon…
Ok, hear me out.
Robocop meets Rule 34
Red Army soldier (1922–1942)
Who remembers Semen Hitler
The only good Hitler
Your volcel pledge doesn’t end upon death, citizen
Imagine sprinting directly into a the aftermath of a russian artillery strike to jack off a corpse lol.
I was thinking a couple of weeks ago, when I saw some isn’treal article about this same concept, of how would a mother explain this to their kids? You know? How do you tell your kids that they were born from a corpse? For most of us, our parents had a good time, and boom. But for these kids? Somebody had to go jack off a corpse to make a baby postmortem. And as a woman, how do you accept this? How do you sleep at night thinking about getting some corpse cum into you to make a baby?
‘‘Mom, where’s my dad?’’
‘‘Your dad died in action fighting le ebil asiatic orcs’’
‘‘Were you pregnant before he set out?’’
''No"
‘‘Then how did they make me?’’
‘‘Your dad’s warbuddies jacked him off and got his seed’’
''So I’m a ‘‘corpse baby’’?
You know? How else can you put this shit?
I don’t really think it’s worse than surrogacy, IVF, or a rape victim deciding to keep a child, tbh. seems weirdly regressive to place sacred importance on how someone is conceived.
that said, I have a date with my beautiful corpse girlfriend
Hahaha, yeah, I’ve just been sitting on this for some time and wondering how to conceptualize it. I can understand a couple trying to have kids and doing an IVF or surrogacy, or a victim deciding to keep the kid, that’s cool. Sorry if I came off as regressive or puritan on conception, wasn’t aiming for that. But I think what Comrade @[email protected] typed beneath here explained best what I was trying to express.
It’s so deeply deranged that I think they must refuse to acknowledge it. The issues with consent alone are pretty wild. The way these articles frame people knocking themselves up with necro-semen as a “lifeline” to a dead partner is incredibly unhinged. If you’re traumatized by the death of a partner a replacement baby is not a valid solution! Fucks sake.
:skeleton-guns-akimbo:you want my genes? cum and take it:skeleton-guns-akimbo:
Another battalion down, calling Code White, alert Cum Patrol!Wait, wasn’t this old news already?
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/16/world/europe/ukraine-soldiers-freeze-sperm.html
April 16, 2023
Motherfucker, why didn’t more people make jokes about this before?
That probably didn’t have enough sign ups so this one will be used on people regardless of consent because Ukraine needs to artificially raise their population after war.
Oh shit! Oh Fuck! Nobody tell Xi! I’m already behind schedule!
Why did they need legislation to let that happen? Did they have to create an exemption for a certain type of necrophilia?
Oh no, can’t believe Anthony Padilla would join the Ukrainian military and the smosh crew would give him a lil Hitler stache to blend in. Truly the darkest timeline. My condolences to the smosh team, I hope they found all his fleshy bits so they can cryogenically freeze him and fix him in the far future so we can see him and Ian get married.
