• thantik@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    That’s the issue I have generally - is the automatic assumption people take that I am attacking them rather than trying to have a conversation so that I can educate myself on the topic and understand better.

    • eestileib@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      I’m just gonna quote something else you said in this thread

      You were assigned a sex at birth. If you have female genitals, you’re a female. That’s what gets assigned at birth. Doctors don’t give a shit about gender, and do not assign it when you are born. Gender is a societal construct, and something you adopt as you age/learn.

      I didn’t read this in reply to me and think “oh, here is somebody who is attempting to educate themselves and understand me better.”

      If your goal is to get people to share some of their most intimate and complex personal experiences with you, perhaps there are more effective communication styles?

      Can you see how it might come off as somebody who believes they already know the topic and is trying to educate other people?

      • thantik@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I’m correcting a misconception that person had about their experiences. Doctors do not give you a gender. They assign a sex (M or F) for the purposes of identification.

        Basically, what did the doctors guess your gender was going to be based on your genitals.

        Is wholly untrue and counterproductive to tell people. I’ve been told many times that your gender is not your sex, and they are two separate things. To incorrectly espouse that doctors assign gender and not sex upon birth, is frankly, appalling. This is not something that is open for opinion, it is a statement of fact. And an incorrect statement of fact is either ignorance, or malice.

        • eestileib@sh.itjust.works
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          10 months ago

          People are still throwing “gender reveal” parties for their unborn infants. If you think doctors in the real world aren’t concerned with fitting children into sex-assigned gender norms, you experienced a different medical system from me.

          Is it right that doctors and parents, in general, guess gender based on genitalia? Is it good? I think we agree that it isn’t.

          But it is the case.

          • thantik@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            Our close family friend is an OBGYN, and I assure you, doctors in the real world are not concerned whatsoever at the point of birth. It’s something I can confidently say as we’ve had discussions about it in the past.

            When a doctor delivers a child, the only thing on their mind is that the child is delivered alive and healthy. The paperwork is just part of the job, and at that point in the child’s life it’s really only about identification of the individual. Is it right that parents guess the gender based on genitalia? I’d say it is; because in most instances, it’s correct. I think the problem stems from the point at which you see signs that it isn’t correct. I think most individuals keep barreling ahead, at that point - forcing that particular gender identity on their child. Which I can agree - is wrong; and something I am guilty of with my child earlier on.

          • papertowels@lemmy.one
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            9 months ago

            Tbf I suspect society has called them gender reveal parties because sex (reveal) parties can be miscommunicative in an entirely different way.

            “It’s got a dooong” also has a different vibe from “it’s a boooy”.

            Idk, no horse in this race. Those parties are stupid anyways.