Last night she was coughing in a manner my asleep brain read as “gross”, so unconsciously noped the fuck out of there and slept on the sofa. I can’t believe my non-awake brain got it.

She tested positive a few hours ago, so now I just have 7 days to worry. I probably have it, I feel a bit off already.

I know that it’s more than most people, but she was wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster. I’ve been nicely pushing her for years, and she brings this shit home. She’s also sorry, and I say it’s fine because I want her to feel better and recover, but secretly I’m fucking raging.

Sorry to rant. Better on Hexbear than out loud.

      • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
        22·
        10 months ago

        taking considerable precautions

        wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster

        hello??? this is not what “considerable precautions” look like. it’s totally valid to be mad at your partner for not taking covid as seriously as they should

        • BovineUniversity@hexbear.netEnglish
          22·
          10 months ago

          If it’s been 4 years and this is the first time they’ve caught it, they’ve been taking it more seriously than 99.99% of people. He’s lucky to have a girlfriend who’s still aware that covid even exists.

          • dat_math [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
            17·
            10 months ago

            He’s lucky to have a girlfriend who’s still aware that covid even exists.

            Sure, and it’s also reasonable to be upset that they won’t wear proper n95s and are setting non-emergency dental appointments during expected covid peaks instead of lulls. It’s especially reasonable to be upset that they won’t get a booster that lowers the likelihood they’ll become infectious

          • wopazoo [he/him]@hexbear.netMEnglish
            3·
            10 months ago

            If it’s been 4 years and this is the first time they’ve caught it

            i know an idiot who licks doorknobs and has caught covid 5 times. OP is doing incredibly well here

          • ButtBidet [he/him]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
            20·
            10 months ago

            If you “rarely wear a mask”, you really shouldn’t be out here whinging. My partner got it from someone like you. Why are you even in this comm??

            • QuietCupcake [any, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
              15·
              10 months ago

              This. The liberalism in this thread is astounding. When did hexbear get so OK with willingly being a disease vector and putting high-risk people’s lives at stake just because the status quo says it’s cool now?

              Edit: “So many people think it’s fake or no big deal.” And they’re fucking idiots and/or evil. So therefore it’s ok to behave like them, shrug it off, and contribute to the problem? Fucking disgusting. tropicalislandvisiter, you should be ashamed of yourself. ButtBidet, you absolutely should not. You are 100% correct for being angry at anyone, partner or otherwise, who doesn’t take covid and the very real, severe consequences of getting it and spreading it seriously.

          • wopazoo [he/him]@hexbear.netMEnglish
            5·
            10 months ago

            coward. you are the type of person to nervously look around when smoke enters the room but not leave unless others leave first.

      • Hello_Kitty_enjoyer [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
        1·
        10 months ago

        And he thinks she caught it at the dentist? She was receiving medical treatment, not out partying.

        Exactly, if you don’t party, you just don’t get sick. idk why scrubs don’t use this code.

    • JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]@hexbear.netEnglish
      20·
      10 months ago

      the partner didn’t get a booster and was slacking on other preventative measures lol. definitely legitimate to feel betrayed. where’s OP’s empathy and compassion? where the fuck was OP’s partner’s empathy and compassion for the people she spread a disease to?

      • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
        19·
        10 months ago

        slacking on other preventative measures

        How many people in your area are still even masking? I’m one of probably 5% in my area, so she’s going beyond the average. Could she have done more? Sure, but then so could everyone not wearing an NBC suit.

        • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          17·
          10 months ago

          yeah but measuring by what other dipshits are doing is the wrong way to go about it. there’s an acceptable level of precaution you can take and she didn’t bother. it doesn’t matter if everyone around her is a plague rat, there’s no excuse to join them

          • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
            20·
            10 months ago

            there’s an acceptable level of precaution

            Yeah, which is always defined in a post-hoc manner in the negative, because eventually almost everyone is going to catch this thing, regardless of their precautions.

            I caught it when one of the KN95’s I was wearing turned out to be a counterfeit. If someone came at me for not checking serial numbers and stitching like it’s some sort of Beanie Baby, I’d write them off. Was my level of precaution “acceptable”? I don’t know, that doesn’t mean anything. Was it effective? No.

            • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
              10·
              10 months ago

              I caught it when one of the KN95’s I was wearing turned out to be a counterfeit.

              i’m sorry that happened to you. you’re talking about a totally different situation than OP is though.

              wearing low quality masks, going to a non-safe dentist at peak times, and avoiding the booster

              is a series of intentional choices. you were the victim of an outside actor. the result is ultimately the same but OP’s partner could change their behavior and lower the risk for both of them. you could not have reasonably done much of anything in your situation.

              • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
                9·
                10 months ago

                is a series of intentional choices. you were the victim of an outside actor

                I was the victim of my own lack of due diligence. The CDC had information on their website about checking for counterfeits and I didn’t pay it sufficient mind until it was time to pay the piper.

                Was it reasonable for me to have to do that? I don’t know, ‘reasonable’ is defined socially, and at the moment, the vast majority of the population considers mask wearing unreasonable, so I don’t know what good ‘reasonable’ is supposed to do us here.

                Everyone can always do more, but the reality of the situation is largely out of our hands, anyone still going out is only going to be able to shift the probabilities in their favor, but not control the outcomes, so anytime a breakthrough infection occurs despite n precautions, I don’t find much value in anger at the fact that n+1 precautions weren’t taken.

                I’d understand the OP’s anger more if there were some sort of betrayal, where she promised him to take more precautions and then reneged on them, but in reality, she took the precautions she was comfortable with, and despite wishing she’d take more, he took the precautions he was comfortable with, which involved close contact with someone taking fewer precautions. The law of large numbers did the rest.

                • dat_math [they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
                  9·
                  10 months ago

                  the vast majority of the population considers mask wearing unreasonable

                  Since when did we distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable by what the majority of liberals in the west think?

                  I don’t find much value in anger at the fact that n+1 precautions weren’t taken.

                  You don’t see value in reducing viral load and thereby reducing the expected severity of the infection, even in a post-hoc sense where you’re already infected?

                  there were some sort of betrayal, where she promised him to take more precautions and then reneged on them, but in reality, she took the precautions she was comfortable with, and despite wishing she’d take more, he took the precautions he was comfortable with, which involved close contact with someone taking fewer precautions

                  people in relationships are atomic and it’s never acceptable to be upset with one’s partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure over the health of everybody in the relationship

                  • a_blanqui_slate [none/use name, any]@hexbear.netEnglish
                    7·
                    10 months ago

                    Since when did we distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable by what the majority of liberals in the west think?

                    That’s part of my point. Reasonable is not defined in any meaningful, universalizable sense here. The subjectivity of what is reasonable in this case is part of the problem. Who gets to decide what definition of reasonable everyone has to use is? She did what she thought was reasonable and so did he. Now they’re both infected. Doesn’t seem like ‘reasonable’ is worth discussing (cue Anton Chirguh)

                    You don’t see value in reducing viral load and thereby reducing the expected severity of the infection, even in a post-hoc sense where you’re already infected?

                    Of course I do, that’s why I’m spraying ridiculous chemicals in my nostril daily and teaching in an kn95 and bought a $250 air purifier for my office. But I don’t see the value in beating myself (or anyone else up) if (and when) those measures prove insufficient. There’s always one more step I could take.

                    one’s partner for prioritizing fleeting sensory pleasure

                    You and I must have very different dentists.

          • WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.netEnglish
            13·
            10 months ago

            yeah but measuring by what other dipshits are doing is the wrong way to go about it

            Kind of but not really, because the more people don’t do the right thing here the harder it is to do the right thing. After a certain point you’re basically expecting people to commit full martyrdom just to be moral people

              • WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.netEnglish
                9·
                10 months ago

                My point isn’t that that isn’t a fair opinion of morality, but that then expecting people to be moral is unrealistic. So you kind of end up having to dilute your own application of morality to even apply that, lest you end up just treating everyone around you as monsters or lesser (not to mention the self-hate that will occur when you inevitably fuck up!).

                So if you do hold that position, it also has to be tempered with an approach that no one is morally perfect, or you’ll end up going insane

                Edit: The only problem with treating everyone around you as lesser is it makes you bitter as shit and… doesn’t do anything. People don’t listen to the person constantly calling them shit people no matter how correct they are.

                • JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
                  15·
                  10 months ago

                  That’s the point of holding an ideology. An ideology is your line in the sand to measure your progress and setbacks, a way to ensure stability in your actions and thought processes. Every so called “leftist” on this site who isn’t masking just followed in the path of liberals they were mocking months earlier. You think that’s going to lead anywhere good?

                  This was a vent post by a comrade dealing with some shit in one of the few safe places those of us who are still coviding can come to escape a world (often including our family and friends) that has largely informed us that our lives are trivial and expendable. If somebody needs to come here and be angry or call people ‘plague rats’ (which, even if it’s impolite and dehumanizing, is what they are being) so they can deal with their life, this should be the place they can come do that without getting tone policed.

                  • WithoutFurtherBelay@hexbear.netEnglish
                    6·
                    10 months ago

                    Im not tone policing anyone, you can use whatever terms you want for people. This is me being a weirdo about abstract ideology and day to day living, I don’t care what kind of venting people do online