The stress of a divorce and the rising tide of fascism have caused me to seriously regress in self care skills over the past few years. I am currently struggling with eating/“meal planning.” I am intellectually capable of understanding what is necessary to grocery shop/plan out meals, and used to be able to do so, but am struggling with executive dysfunction to the point where I cannot.
For the past two years, my diet has been fast food, chips, beer and candy. I had a few “safe foods” - specific brands of frozen meals that were reliable, but of late they are not working. Eg, I have been lying on the floor for the past five hours feeling absolutely famished, have considered going to the refrigerator and making one of the frozen meals that is usually “safe” - and am utterly incapable of doing so. I don’t think I could even eat it if I made it.
I’m guessing this is autism - I’m guessing I’m autistic - but there has never been any means for me to be evaluated. I have talked to my therapist about this, and have not really found the advice helpful.
The most effective thing has been stocking up on things like lunchables to at least get calories in. Sometimes even lunchables will stop being “safe” though. It gets harder to function when I’m hungry, so I get caught in a loop of lying in bed hungrier and hungrier. I know I can’t live off of gas station pizza and Monster, but there have been days where that’s all I feel capable of eating.
Forces, friend. Depression can cause this too, and of course it can be both -and often is-, but at least it’s much easier to get help with depression and usually the doctors want to rule that out first. Could also be ADHD. Some meds work for depression and ADHD. If you can, try to go and see a doctor. Ask a friend or a family member to help book the appointment and come with you to the clinic if it feels overwhelming. Even some help is better than none. If you have someone you could trust to help you with grocery shopping, that could make a huge difference. Some stores also do home deliveries - going to a grocery store is super draining and it’s difficult to think of anything to eat when you are overwhelmed.
You’ve been through a lot, and the world around is crumbling, which really doesn’t make coping with personal hardship any easier. It’s okay to not make the best choices, for now you are surviving. You are doing your best!
My easy to make safe foods are: noodle salad (rice noodles, lettuce, cucumber, carrot, cilantro, fried tofu with teriyaki sauce and some peanut sauce on top); “oven bread/pizza bread” or grilled sandwich, just put anything on them; tortillas (greens, some protein with spices, sauces); tortilla pizzas from leftover tortillas; raw porridge (basically muesli and oat milk, if there’s seeds or nuts or yoghurt then maybe those, let sit in the fridge overnight). When I was really burned out I used to just cook pasta and put instant sauce in the same pan, maybe add soy or beans or something.