Hello users of Hexbear, there have been many changes and some drama the past few months.

The recent changes we’ve been making have been an attempt to create a more safe and welcoming environment for many demographics that have been overlooked in the past.

For any of our comrades that have been unintentionally hurt in this process, we apologise and hope to find a solution that accommodates as many people as possible while still meeting the needs of the marginalised groups who need a space like this the most.

The intent of this post is to provide a space for all users to air grievances with regard to the site. As well as provide suggestions for specific things that could be changed to address your grievance. Comments insulting the mod team or those without a specific means to address your problem may be removed. No commenter will be sitebanned, unless it clearly breaks the code of conduct.

  • dustbunnies [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    5·
    13 days ago

    to you and @[email protected] and any other em_poc user reading this:

    I want to apologize for anything I’ve said that has given you the impression that I think frauddogg was a secret troop infiltrating the site or harbored reactionary views.

    I absolutely do not believe that. I like to lurk the reading club threads sometimes, and null made some deeply moving and thought-provoking comments that I can’t imagine were anything but genuine. void made good contributions to the site.

    on the surface, our personalities couldn’t be more different, but I have been known to get in faces about injustice irl and I’m sure there are people who know irl frauddogg as a sweetie. it takes all kinds, we all contain multitudes, etc. I won’t pretend I was a fan of null’s tendency to jump to insults in interactions with other local users, but I saw void’s popularity and understood that there were social dynamics I was just not comprehending. the popularity of that behavior became a puzzle for me – I wanted to see it the way others were seeing it, especially considering how many people were saying that everyone who didn’t get it was a cracker or fragile or part of the problem etc.

    I don’t want to be part of the problem. I don’t want to be one of the white users making the em_poc users uncomfortable, and I worry a lot that my empathy comes off as apologia to you all. I worry in all my interactions, both online and irl, that my confused questions seem obtuse or judgemental because I get that feedback a lot, and idk how to fix it. after 40 years, the best I have come up with is apologizing thoroughly and often and hope it doesn’t start to sound insincere. I’m sorry for anything I’ve said that has hurt you or made you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome.

    I mentioned the specific users I did because

    • they are not active users
    • the stark difference in their moderation history illustrated my point that some people are moderated differently than most users
    • I do genuinely think null might not have felt compelled to delete void’s account if null had been moderated differently. it’s easy for a “take-no-prisoners” attitude to become “shoot first, ask questions later,” and that can make us vulnerable when we stumble.

    the Code of Conduct is pretty clear about how we’re supposed to behave, and it reads to me like it’s not just about not hurting others but very much also not hurting ourselves. would frauddogg have expected grace from the community about the troop thing if null had been more willing to offer it to others?

    I hope so. I would like to think it would have been given to void. I know I’m not the only person who read those book club posts and saw a beautiful person they were glad to have on the site.