I keep hearing that this is frowned upon, but I cannot help it. After I share, I circle back and explain how and why I connected the two stories to try to recenter the other person. Is this annoying? How do you want ND people to respond in that case?
Hm, well it doesn’t feel like, shallow to just get the “that must have been hard” standard issue comment after sharing something vulnerable? To me that just kinda feels dismissive, like the person saying “that must have been hard” is offput, or it would stop the conversation
it’s quite shallow. NT communication is shallow generally.
Sometimes when people are feeling a lot, all they want to do is get it off the chest or just simply be heard. “Good listening” usually means “paying attention and not saying a lot in response”. Allowing or helping someone to get their story out is usually the most important thing in situations like this. This is where stereotypical “therapist questions” like “How did that make you feel?” fit in.
ND here, and yeah, I’m just as surprised by that response. But fucking noted, damn. My whole life I’ve done that to try to connect with the person, and I never realized everyone around me thinks I’m rude. It kind of circles back to my definition of friend: an actual friend would have told me it’s considered rude and why.
agreed, but thats what they want to hear. In my ND when I get a response like that I would think “oh that person wasnt listening but just putting on the auto-response”.