Welcome to the sixth writing club update!
I hope everyone has had a good November (and part of December (these posts keep taking me longer and longer into the month to post - they’re basically mid-month posts now lol)). These increased indoorsiness is often good for the types of projects we’re embarked on.
So without further ado, here are our dashing Participants for the month!
- @grrgyle - November goal
- @JacobCoffinWrites - November goal
- @okasen - November goal
- @hazeebabee - November goal
Have a great December and new year!
This month, I’ve continued trying to make small times somewhat regularly to write. It’s been fairly successful, though there were defiantly weeks I didn’t write anything. I want to continue to keep up the momentum this month, though I know it will be hard since I’ll be spending quite a bit of time with my family at the end of this month. My goal is to continue making time to write twice a week (both weekend and work week).
In the spirit of sharing, I also was to share the prolog for one of the books I’ve been working on. Some specific questions: how does the writing tense feel? Is it too strange, does it feel overly ungrounded? Does opening on a dream work, or does it feel a bit overdone? I hope that because its a description of inspiration is doesn’t feel as over used as the wake up from a nightmare scenario. I am a big fan of my opening line, but am curious on how other people might feel about this opening.
Anyways. here’s a link I hope will work :)
edit to add: I don’t know why its highlighted in green. If you know how to change that, please let me know lol
I think that’s a good goal, and reasonable if you’re going to be spending time with family (me too! I am too!), and good to keep up the habit of writing during both the week and week-end.
Woooo! We’re doing it - sharing our writing! I’m so excited. :D Okay, on with the feedback:
I didn’t really think about the writing tense, so I’d say it fits.
It doesn’t feel too strange at all. I think the strangeness of the dream opening works in its favour. To your other question, maybe it does feel a bit ungrounded? I’m not sure, I feel like the protagonist’s yearning to integrate with the robotic intelligence is the grounding, but it’s only stated in the last sentence, so hard to tell from this sample.
I agree, it’s a great opening line. I like this kind of dreamy, poetic writing, so opening on a subjective works for me. I was a bit confused by the outline of silver light, and had to read that part a couple of times (not unusual for me). My unsolicited hot take is that it’s perhaps missing a simile, just to give the mind’s eye something to picture. But that’s just me backseat writing lol :P definitely follow your own intuition first, if this ambiguity is part of what you had in mind.
To change your text colour in etherpad, you go to the top-right of the screen and click the icon that looks like 3 people. Then you press the circle next to your name that’s the same colour of green. I just use it to paste my work into for sharing right now, but I could see how it would be neat for more collaboration. Like for example, I see there is a plugin that would let us leave comments on each others’ stories! That would be cool imho.
Thanks so much for the detailed feedback! I see what you mean on having a hard time picturing things. I think that’s what I meant by ungrounded. I often write in a poetic way, but it can leave my prose lacking in detail. Maybe I’ll revisit that area and add in some more physical descriptors.
I’m hoping to share some of the first chapter next month, and it is much more grounded since it’s starting the actual story and has more specific events going on.
And it would be cool to be able to leave comments and other things on people’s stories (as long as they request it).
So glad to finally be able to share some of my writing with you :) also I’m glad you like the first line as well, it’s a little pet of mine lol