• pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      11 days ago

      No one and probably won’t any time soon for a plethora of reasons. When I hooked up with a guy for the first time he really made me feel attractive and wanted and I almost broke down too. Terrible self-esteem and being starved for affection is a rough time.

        • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          11 days ago

          Oh I know why, it’s not like I couldn’t find a relationship if I tried, it’s that I think I’d be a terrible partner and my presence in someone’s life would make it worse and I’m not willing to do that to someone. Struggling incredibly with ADHD and I don’t think I’d be able to give a partner the proper time and attention due to the need to shovel stimulation into the black hole that is my brain, and I have bad depressive crashes, much worse than the baseline misery, that no one can help with and make people who care about me feel bad and guilty about not being able to help. Things have to improve a lot for me to seriously consider dating, and at this point I know better than to think that could happen.

          • chingadera@lemmy.world
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            10 days ago

            Gotta work on it. There’s someone for you, I know it’s cheesy as hell, but theres a ton of us and all of us get lonely and have the same issues give or take.

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          11 days ago

          If we’re using food as an example, pick which mushroom is the toxic one to avoid

          A)

          2326

          B)

          2327

          One of them will kill you. Choose wisely.

          (My point is that toxic women can often mask as nontoxic for quite some time, much like you can’t just tell by looking at these mushrooms which will kill you, you can’t always tell by looking at women which are toxic either. Sure the Aminita Muscara may be identifiable and so would any woman with glaring toxicity, but sneaky ones lije these are afoot too, and much like other abusive relationships frog, boiling water, yadda yadda you’ve heard that bit before.)

          • chingadera@lemmy.world
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            10 days ago

            Well yeah, but over time you start to realize behaviors. Just like over time, we’ve learned to rub potentially hazardous foods on your skin, then wait, the mucus membrane, then wait, then tiny piece, then wait. You don’t just jump right in with some random mushrooms.

            I’m not knocking anyone for getting your first crazy SO surprise, but after a bit it’s a George W. Bush fool me once shame on, shame on you, fool me, can’t get fooled again situation.

            Make boundaries, communicate, and go after what you want and try to work on what you don’t, and if it’s not possible it’s time to go. sometimes that’s not easy, but relationships aren’t easy.

        • zaphod@sopuli.xyz
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          11 days ago

          You’re very smart. Often you don’t know until it’s too late and then getting out of that situation isn’t easy.

    • MonkeyBusiness@sh.itjust.works
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      11 days ago

      As a level 1 autistic man, I’m a magnet for toxic women. It’s like they hunt for guys like me. It takes me a really long time around a woman before I drop my guard.