CW: chapter 2 contains a detailed description of child abuse by a parent

Hello comrades, it’s time for our second discussion thread for The Will to Change, covering Chapters 2 (Understanding Patriarchy) and 3 (Being a Boy). Thanks to everyone who participated last week, I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts again. And if you’re just joining the book club this week, welcome!

In Ch.2 hooks defines patriarchy, how it is enforced by parental figures and society at large, and the struggle of antipatriarchal parents to raise children outside of these rigid norms when the border culture is so immersed in them. Ch.3 delves deeper into the effects of patriarchy on young boys and girls and the systemic apparatuses that reinforce gender norms.

If you haven’t read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it)

As always let me know if you’d like to be added to the ping list!

Our next discussion will be on Chapters 4 (Stopping Male Violence) and 5 (Male Sexual Being), beginning on 12/11.

  • dumples@midwest.socialEnglish
    9·
    12 days ago

    The first couple paragraphs of chapter two are amazing. See below (emphasis mine)

    I often use the phrase “imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy” to describe the interlocking political systems that are the foundation of our nation’s politics. Of these systems the one that we all learn the most about growing up is the system of patriarchy, even if we never know the word, because patriarchal gender roles are assigned to us as children and we are given continual guidance about the ways we can best fulfill these roles.

    Patriarchy is a political-social system that insists that males are inherently dominating, superior to everything and everyone deemed weak, especially females, and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence

    Calling the patriarchy by its full name really shows how systematic it is and removes some of the lowest hanging critics right away. I will need to remember this when I hear “We don’t live in a patriarchy because my boss is a woman” or “rich people regardless of gender are oppressors, so we don’t live in a patriarchy” to bring up the full name. With the full name these bad critics are really bad faith arguments.

    The real key to understanding the patriarchy is the dominating over those deemed lesser on this hierarchy. Once you understand it you can see it everywhere. The insistence that someone people’s time / life / body are worth less than others, the implicit violence, and the insistence there is one way to be a “real man”. If you can get someone to read these two paragraphs only or all of chapter 2 it would be a major eye opener for some people

    • MiraculousMM [he/him, any]@hexbear.netOPMEnglish
      6·
      13 days ago

      Calling the patriarchy by its full name really shows how systematic it is and removes some of the lowest hanging critics right away.

      Absolutely, and it forces you to think about the subtler, more insidious ways it manifests in daily life. Unfortunately in my experience if someone rejects the term or concept of “patriarchy”, chances are good that they’ll also reject the qualifiers that hooks adds to her definition. You call it white-supremacist and they say “but but but affirmative action!” (and usually they’re opposed to AA because they say that the REAL racism) or, “but but we had a black president!” So the fully describing the problem kind of selects for people who genuinely who want to learn and understand the complexities of modern western society, similar to how hosting an optional book club self-selects for people interested in growing and educate themselves. It’s such a struggle to get people to understand or even try to engage with intersectionalism.

      If you can get someone to read these two paragraphs only or all of chapter 2 it would be a major eye opener for some people

      I’ve been considering posting excerpts of the book in other comms where relevant to expose users who aren’t in the book club to the ideas within. I know the people who really need to read this book the most are not going to and generally have no interest in learning or growing as people and that makes me so sad, but there are things I can do (and we all can do) to spread the good word around so to speak.

      • dumples@midwest.socialEnglish
        5·
        13 days ago

        Unfortunately in my experience if someone rejects the term or concept of “patriarchy”, chances are good that they’ll also reject the qualifiers that hooks adds to her definition I do agree that there are some people who don’t want to be reached. They either hate new ideas or happy with being part of this system. However, I will still try to bring it up since I think people can understand intersectionalism. It also helps show you can both benefit and be hurt by a system which I think is missing in some discussions about gender roles, racism etc.

        Other comms would be helpful. Especially some of the good quotes. I really enjoy [email protected] as well. Having a parallel book club or similar coordination would be helpful to spread some information. It is obviously a big ask but a short book helps.