I did this stuff actively for a long time and enjoyed the focus parts and skill parts of it. Am fairly competitive so did a few competitions as well and enjoyed it. It was also good for my physical self-esteem, but that I feel could have come from any sport I like. The actual physical stuff can be pretty fun and challenging. I think it’s a bit of a neurospicy catnip that kept me humming pretty well in everyday life.

But, the people doing these sports were often not the best people, at least not where I am from. Cops, violent men, misogony and just all that. I participated in these sports as a woman and it always took me twice as much effort to get the belts or whatever “the boys” got very easily. I was also ostriciced a lot due to my gender.

There was lots of stanning for Japan and a lot of the sort of weird male hierarchy that felt very uncomfortable. Eventually I quit and just instructed fitness boxing for others, just as a sport for all kinds of people, genders and bodies.

I sometimes miss the actual sports, but not the clubs and people. I still practice at home and do some online martial arts combat classes sometimes, but just for covid alone I would not go back to doing this face to face anymore.