• Christian school teacher arrested for alleged sexual assault; more victims suspected
(archived link)
• Christ the King bookkeeper gets 2 years in prison for embezzling church funds
(archived link)
• Ex-teacher at Pope John XXIII High School is sentenced to 10 years in prison for taking upskirt photos of students
(archived link)
• Pakistani religious body declares using VPN is against Islamic law
• Hate pastor renegs on promise to refund tithes
• Priest faces life imprisonment over third child sex offences conviction
• Church of England head resigns over handling of sex abuse scandal
(archived link)
• Ohio pastor accused of raping a juvenile facing 6 felony counts
(archived link)
What if my god is the sun? Check and mate.
Before you try and blaspheme, just know the power of my deity can and will give you cancer if you don’t anoint yourself with the proper sacrificial ointments.
What Solar Piety Factor ointment do you recommend?
It depends on the types of sin happening in your local environment. Some places are exposed to more levels of gods wrath than others.
My environment is apparently steeped in sin based on current wrath levels, and only shows signs of increasing. Additionally, I am one of God’s cursed races, I bear the Nuclear Overlord’s most spited complexion.
The sun is a cruel, but righteous god. May your melanomas be painless and swift.
Understandable
Uh, my god is a giant space lobster that eats planets. I’ll have to ask if they can eat stars, but I’m guessing the answer is yes.
They also spit acid and fire, have laser eyes, and have a saddle so the faithful can ride them when they come to eat the planet.
The proof of my gods’ power is that lobsters are delicious