• imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone
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    7 days ago
    just need to get this out but no obligation to read it

    I feel really alone right now. I feel like I am drowning at work and my general exhaustion level is so high I am not catching up there or at home. I am wrought with anxiety and I have kinda lost the will to push through. There are so many big things to be done and I am stuck on details. And every time I make time someone else has a problem and I get dragged sideways.

    And it’s hard to push through when I feel like the world is a mess anyway. What good can I really do? Am I just burning myself out in a corner for nothing?

    For reasons the work situation is not a “can you talk to your manager and ask for XYZ” one…what I am carrying is legit mine but I am struggling.

    I am just dead sick of being the grown up and the strong one for others right now. I want to go home…whatever that means.

    • underwatermagpies@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      I’ve been in a similar place. Can you take some stress leave/sick leave? Ideally at least two weeks so that a) you can unwind properly and b) somebody else has to pick up the slack at work.

      Do it now, not once project x is done or when we’ve met that next deadline. New stuff will keep coming up.

    • CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      I don’t know what the answers are but you’ve got a friend in me. 💜

      Everytime I press the red heart it comes up black. Maybe I’ve used up my red hearts quota or run out of red ink. 🤷‍♀️ anyway red heart, red heart, red heart.

        • CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone
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          7 days ago

          Oh yeah that one is but I like to do red hearts (they keep coming up small and black) because what does any other coloured heart mean?

          ♥ ♥ ♥

      • imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone
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        7 days ago

        red heart red heart back. Thanks. It means a lot having a safe space. I have good real world friends but sometimes I just need a scream into the ether

    • Gibsonhasafluffybutt@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      I can relate to the loneliness and the feeling of drowning at work.

      I don’t have any real advice, but I hope you can find some peace soon ❤️

    • Llabyrinthine@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      Is stress leave a possibility for you?

      Edit: Also, is there anyone close to you that can help with even the smallest of things at home?

    • tone212_@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      Ughh this feeling of aloneness while being overwhelmed with work, I’ve felt it so many times. The only advice I can offer is to look after yourself as much as you can. A home cooked meal, going for a walk or doing other exercise, proper wind down before going to sleep. This past weekend wasn’t great for me mentally and doing these three things helped.

    • indisin@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      Hey interwebs friend, this is the reason I’m on a sabbatical. Can you afford to take the break even if it means burning through your savings?

    • melbaboutown@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      I’m not sure what to say but feel very like this in other ways.

      I’m wondering if there’s any way you can half ass some of the details a little bit so you don’t get stuck? I don’t know what you’re working on but sometimes done > perfect

      Otherwise you’re well within your rights to insist on the time you’ve carved out so you don’t get dragged sideways.

      Taking some leave in whatever form is a good idea because this sounds like burnout.

      Whatever happens I wish you can get some peace or rest somehow, even for a moment.

      • imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone
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        7 days ago

        I have three weeks off at christmas, and there are just a couple of really crappy situations to navigate first. I struggle when I can’t even see a start. I’m setting a hard “pens down” rule at night so I can get a little bit of relaxattion in each day. Thanks for the thoughts

    • Seagoon_@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      so many hugs

      maybe the world and your little part of the world would be a million times messier if not for you

      like in Alice in Wonderland, we have to run just to keep in the same place

      Since you can’t delegate how about resetting your timetable?

      On a positive note, it’s good they want a grown up and do defer.

      • imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone
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        7 days ago

        Thanks - I’m trying with the timetable, but my body gave up on my overnight and I crash slept in. Luckily I could take the morning off but that’s partly why I was feeling down - I desperately need a timetable and can’t stick to it. I will persist.

    • anotherspringchicken@aussie.zone
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      7 days ago

      I get a lot of what you’re talking about, too, especially the close to burnout feelings. Hugs and sympathy from across the ether - you’re not alone 💛