The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
Hey, bud. I can’t leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.
Saying NO is a superpower!
“Hey, Sanctus. Where are you going? I was hoping you’d finish that report before noon?”
NO
“Uh, OK? Guess I’ll see you at the meeting with our main customer then.”
NO
See how easy that is?
Mate, it’s impossible to work with you, we’ll have to make you redundant, I’m sorry.
NO
“fuck, he’s got us. We’ll have to regroup and think of another tactic.”
while curling 50 lb. dumbbells
Reminds me of that one scene in the first episode of Coupling where Jane refuses to be dumped.
Its really easy until everyone complains I’m saying no, my review scores drop, and I get fired. Idk what kind of heaven exists out there where you can actually say no without the rest of the office dogpiling you like rabid corporate zombies but its not the place I work at. I could say no once, that person hold a vendetta, and give me a 1/10 on my review, costing me a raise. Its absolutely a fucking Klingon culture up in here.
Saying no is a superpower, just not in the way the author of the original post intended. As comments like yours highlight, saying no to nonsense work is out of reach for the vast majority of people who would most benefit from it (i.e. workers who are bothered by managers). It sounds like your workplace is especially gruelling in that respect.
Its a slog for no reason, it doesnt have to be like this at all. The “leaders” create and actively maintain this environment. I have given whole presentations on how to fix it. They want it to remain a brutal revolving door.
It sounds like your coworkers lack honor! Perhaps it is time for them to experience Bij…
How’s your shift going? Looks like a pretty busy morning! Hey could you please make sure you catch the markdown on the bread? The bakery counter didn’t cover up the old barcode properly.
NO
Wake up at 5:30 and not have to deal with any bullshit from anyone else until 2pm sharp. 8.5 uninterrupted hours for long walks, “deep work,” and weightlifting. You know, the typical work day.
This schedule is completely unrealistic even with privilege
No meetings until 2pm? Doesn’t matter what industry you’re in, guarantee you interact with industries that work 8-4 and will not bend over backwards to schedule you at the end of their day. Like does this person just not go to the doctor? Or deal with banking issues?
- wake up at 5:30am
Fuck right off.
I wake up earlier than that these days yet i somehow manage to stay far less smug about it. Though i will gladly fuck off, it’s a ridiculous time to be waking up
Terms like “connect”, “be present”, “superpower” tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.
It was the “no meetings before 2pm” and “3 hours of no distraction” that gave it away for me.
Wake up at 5:30am
Counter offer: go to hell
Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day
I mean, same honestly. Thank god for remote working (but if any hiring managers are reading I totally work all day at home).
3 hours a day is pretty solid, but don’t tell the blue collars
In all seriousness, 3 hours of actual solid work, uninterrupted by meetings or whatever… That’s not as unusual as it might sound. This survey puts the average worker at <3 productive hours per day, and this one at around 4 hours.
Office workers*
They know, they knew before we admitted it to each other.
Pain
Blue collar here. I love my job most days, but there are times I envy you guys that don’t have a solid 8 hours of work packed into almost every day. Makes the workday fly by though.
I honestly envy blue collar workers. I do about 2-3 hours of actual work in a given day, but I’m “working” for like 8-9 hours because of BS meetings and whatnot, which makes the day absolutely crawl. If I could set my own schedule, I could get about twice the work done, but I’m in a leadership position so I need to be available for others.
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Exactly.
My work routine is somewhat similar to OP’s, but flipped (meetings from 9-11, actual work from 1-3 or 1-4). I wish it was flipped, but still, 2-3 uninterrupted time is plenty to get real work done. That happens more consistently on my WFH days, though I can occasionally get real work done in the office (WFH 3x/week).
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you’re up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be ‘won’ by this point, and you still haven’t gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
Wake up at 5:30 then go for a walk. It is recommended to take a 30 min to 1 hour walk in the morning. Also including prep time so I’d say about 15 minutes. So let’s say we’re at 6:45 now. Wait 90 minutes so now we’re at 9:45. Now making americanos at home is also time consuming if it isn’t pre prepped or if you don’t have a full espresso setup in your home, it could take 30 or 45 minutes and you’d have take it stronger to compensate for the ice melting in the hot cup. So now we’re at 10:30. 3 hours of work, 1:30. Lift weights; you can get that done in 30 minutes, but you also have to factor in cleaning yourself up or else you’re just going to baste in your own sweat all day until you shower. So I’d give that another 30 minutes. It is now 2:00, you’re late for your meetings which removes your “superpower” to say no, you didn’t factor in any time to eat lunch, your blood sugar is probably bottoming out because you had a very caffeine rich coffee drink and lifted weights without nutrients, and you’re going to feel like garbage until you get food in you.
Horrible plan
Haha, that’s quite the reality check. God I hate those grifters…
In fairness he says 90 minutes after waking, not 90 minutes after the walk. If you get home from the walk by 6:30 that’s 30 minutes to make it, or potentially buy it if you have one nearby to get on the way home/quickly drive to.
Now yes that’s already 10am, but considering he mentions 2pm in the right column, you could make the argument the left column is the “until 10am” part, and the right is “after 10am” part, though I am giving large amounts of benefit of the doubt at this point.
How is it taking you up to 45 minutes to make a cup of coffee? I can make a hot cup in ten, and most of that is spent waiting.
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An Americano does not contain coffee. It is just espresso and hot water.
I dunno, I feel like I’ve won on any day I don’t have to lift heavy things.
Keeping it noodley. ✊
oh I’ll definitely be mourning if I were to wake up at 5
Mourning my will to live
If I’m waking up at 5:30am and not drinking caffeine for 90 minutes, I’m definitely mourning.
I like how planning the morning the night before happens in the morning. That’s about how much I procrastinate, too.
“Saying ‘no’ is a superpower, it will lead you to your true calling. Trust your instincts.”
“Want my morning routine checklist? Follow Matt Gray”
No. ( :
“Boosts testosterone”. I bet this dude thinks of himself as an alpha male.
it is well studied that certain exercise temporarily boosts testosterone in humans, but the longevity or persistence of this effect are quite varied.
It’s true that the “alpha” culture has a high interest in testosterone “boosting”, usually without even having their blood levels checked.
Soon to be a bald one, too.
Most of these make sense but its from a very privileged perspective.
2pm: have a meeting of max 1 hour.
3pm: end of work day, start prepping diner.
7pm: done with diner, wash the twenty pans and nine oven trays.
7:30pm: more weightlifting, more testosterone = more better.
9pm: time for bed, a good night rest starts early!Social life is a waste of time 99% of the time, just take those antidepressants more often.
“Work for 3 hours”
Sure, I actually agree, I get more done in 3 hours than my coworkers do in a day. But it’s not like I’m going to get to go home after that. I’ll just get to sit and do nothing for the rest of the day looking busy.
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wake up whenever, alarm usually goes off 8:30. Maybe i hit snooze a buncha times
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start work at 10. Wfh, pants optional
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work according to load, mostly fart about house.
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Take a long walk for lunch, usually blow out my step requirements
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fuck off work 3:30, go fuck around in garden until sun sets
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big fat dinner sitting on my arse watching telly with hubs, then gaming after he goes to bed at 9ish
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bed around 1ish under fat purring cat.
Pretty much my routine to a tee.
Fantastic, isn’t it
5:30 h/day? My man living the dream
Nah, IT. Work driven. Somedays are five hours, some are 28 hours
some are 28 hours
Ouch, crowdstrike?
Oh hell no thank fuck. Avoided that shitshow
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My biggest criticism is that I’m not really the one who sets my meeting schedule, even when I’m the one who sends the invite. Unless your entire company has a “no meetings until 2pm” policy this isn’t really doable. Especially if you work with people in multiple time zones.
I only got to institute this when I started working for myself. It took me a year or two to realise. For all clients or all agencies I sub for I have a strict no meetings before 930am rule. I haven’t told anyone why - my calendar is just blocked out so each probably individually thinks I have some recurring appointment with another client. Nup. I’m in bed drinking my coffee. I’m a shit sleeper, if I manage at all. I spent decades working to the early birds’ schedule. Fuck that.
But it is a privilege and very few can achieve that working in a company. It’s gross to suggest to people they can just do it. I know my situation is niche. To suggest otherwise is arrogant and ignorant.
Also the same, been doing it for roughly a decade now. Outside of a once a year emergency I don’t start work until after lunch. I just say ‘I have other commitments in the morning’. I’ve had some PM’s push early in client engagements but it’s never escalated more then that. I just make the boundaries super clear and am always willing to walk away.
A lot of these LinkedIn lunatic posts are absurd. This one seems totally reasonable, healthy, and leaves plenty of time for hobbies and family/friends.
Minus the meeting time restriction. Dunno how you manage that unless you’re the owner of the company.
Funny how it’s not the worst idea but “this alone separates you from 99% of people” is like putting poison in soup and now the whole thing is ruined.
It didn’t say it was better than that 99%; just separate.
This isn’t terrible advice, but it’s presented in such a way that I want to strike the author for being such a smug prick.
Yeah focused work is great and pomodoro timers can help you achieve it by breaking out down into smaller chunks. But this image was just grating to read, and it seemed to imply only working 3 hours per day.
“No meetings before 2pm”, “saying no is a superpower” yeah brill mate I’ll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won’t get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo
Did they draw hyperlinks in their notebook?
