• CloutAtlas [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 months ago

    The names Bond, Israeli Bond.

    I am even more racist than my British counterpart, and my signature spy gadget is a gun that posthumously deems an unarmed civilian as Hamas when I shoot them in the back while they’re fetching food for their children.

    Like the real Bond, I was also born and raised in Scotland, and my nemesis is a 19 year old American college student waving a “Ceasefire Now” sign on campus.

    I have a wide array of femme fatales with borderline and actually misogynistic names but I will never stop my life of shooting civilians for Mossad because the only type of “settling down” I do is in the home of a Palestinian family that’s lived there for generations.

    I like my martinis dry, the opposite of my pants, which I will piss inside of on camera when Iranian rockets hit a target 100kms away from where I currently am.