My first “real” job was in retail. One of the assistant store managers was an old Vietnam vet named John. John spent his whole [civilian] career, 40 something years, working there at a job he absolutely hated. He was notoriously grumpy, rough around the edges, and smoked like a freight train. But, John did two things for me that I will never forget.

First thing: One day a customer was looking for something in a department that I wasn’t familiar with. I tried (and failed) to help him find what he was looking for. There wasn’t anyone staffing that area so I called John for help. The customer was an asshole. He was being a complete jerk from the start and when John showed up, he proceeded to tell John just exactly how incompetent he thought I was, while I was standing there.

John just glared at him and very politely but sternly said, “Sir, I’m going to have to stop you right there. jubilationtcornpone is one of our finest employees and I’m sure he tried to help you as best he could. I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk about him like that.” The guy wasn’t happy but that did shut him up.

Second thing: John and I are talking one evening and he just kind of puts his hand on my shoulder and says, “JubilationTCornpone, You need to get the hell out of here and go make something of yourself. You don’t want to be here when you’re my age. Don’t waste your life.”

16 year old me didn’t particularly like John. He was a hard boss. Also, did I mention he was perpetually grumpy? But, he earned my respect. He stood up for me and wasn’t going to just stand by and let someone else treat me badly. Even if that meant losing a customer. If you’re an executive or manager and you force your people to just sit there and take it while they’re being bullied or harassed, then you’re an enabler.

Nobody deserves to be treated like that. People get upset. Sometimes for legitimate reasons. i get that. That doesn’t give them the right to treat others like they’re less than human. Even if it’s someone that they’ll never meet face to face.