Sofia “Buff Girlfriend” @sofiabuffgf

Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it’s transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.

  • kinther@lemmy.worldEnglish
    311·
    10 个月前

    Using just toilet paper is like if a bird shit on your arm and you used toilet paper to wipe it off. There’s still shit on your arm - you’re still dirty and need to wash it off. Bidets are really superior in every way.

    • shottymcb@lemm.eeEnglish
      92·
      10 个月前

      I mean, If a bird shit on me, I wouldn’t consider myself clean if I just hosed it off with water either. Soap needs to be involved. Bidet or TP is just a stopgap until you actually wash your ass. With soap.

      • slickgoat@lemmy.worldEnglish
        7·
        10 个月前

        Wet wipes are a problem to the sewage system. They don’t break down, they clog. Don’t use them unless your selfishness outweighs your sense of responsibility. This isn’t a TED talk, just be a decent human being.

    • Mango@lemmy.worldEnglish
      426·
      10 个月前

      Using a bidet is like a bird pooped on you and you just splashed that shit all over the place and got everything wet.

      • odelik@lemmy.todayEnglish
        16·
        10 个月前

        Steps for using a bidet:

        1. After pooping, remain seated on toilet seat with bidet
        2. Turn on bidet to desired pressure.
        3. Wiggle your butt around letting the water jet spray you down.
        4. Turn off bidet.
        5. Grab a few squares of TP and fold them over.
        6. Wipe water off and inspect for cleanliness.
        7. Repeat steps above if TP wasn’t clean.

        Congrats, you’re now a pro, an clean, pooper.

        • Mango@lemmy.worldEnglish
          220·
          10 个月前

          So poopy water goes everywhere and soggy TP goes all over my butt. You call that clean. Enjoy the splashed about bits of everyone else’s poop around the thinnest and least protected membranes in your body. I’m not wasting any more break time replying to you.

          • TwistyLex@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
            91·
            10 个月前

            I’m sitting here wondering… Do you think a bidet uses the water currently in the bowl? Or that it sprays through that water? Because it doesn’t.

              • Patapon Enjoyer@lemmy.worldEnglish
                41·
                10 个月前

                You take a shower every time you take a shit or do you just shit, take your clothes off, head to the shower and spread your cheeks for a minute?

          • slickgoat@lemmy.worldEnglish
            51·
            10 个月前

            Once again, it looks like you have never used a bidet yet somehow have the confidence to get everything wrong.

            Or, you have tried to use a bidet and did some kind of three stooges bit in the process.

            Clearly bidets are not for you, Sir.

          • jol@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
            41·
            10 个月前

            Please take the words of experience of this thread: your perspective is incorrect. It’s OK to change your mind. Bidets don’t plash shit everywhere and your but can be as clean as it could be without using soap.

        • Mango@lemmy.worldEnglish
          113·
          10 个月前

          Did YOURS? Where I’m from, if you’re playing in the water but the dishes still have food on them, you’re in trouble.