7-11 Cheeseburger Bite. Hamburger in the shape of a hot dog, with nacho cheese injected into the middle. Put it on a hot dog bun, and top it with their free chili and nacho cheese. Most 7-11s don’t carry them any more, so when I find one that does, I immediately buy two and them shotgun them in my car in the parking lot.

Also, some dude said that in the northeast US they call them “hamdogs”.

I don’t see MAGA people as the enemy because they want to pay less in taxes. I see them as the enemy because they don’t think my kids should exist in society and are actively passing legislation to make it so.

Delete this shit take.

I thought the woman inside was the school secretary. But I noticed the ribbon in the girls hair unfurled, a bit of schmutz on her knees, and the striations of the tiles.

You’d put a Choco Taco in your choco taco? Fierce.

This is the correct answer. The first time it cramped, my wife was begging me to stand on it as I massaged it while screaming in agony. The second time it happened she wasn’t home, so I decided to just try what she had told me to do and poof the pain disappeared.

Neither of my two kids wants kids (one is ace/aro), so it ends with me. And if I’d had been more tuned in politically in 2006 and had thought about it for half a tick, I don’t know that I would have chosen to have kids in the first place.

Get fucked, traitor. 🖕

I once had three students in one class who were all named José. For the purpose of avoiding confusion, I asked if it would be alright if I called them Hose-A, Hose-B, and Hose-C and they all loved the idea.

This is a true story. The day they were all absent and I got to ask the class “Where my Hoses at?” was a red letter day in my life.

Awesome. Not having an issue with Lifelock or the fact that they let me know this. The issue is with a pharmacy needing to verify my identity so that I can get my acid reflux meds.

Sorry, my human, but naw…this has never been necessary in the history of humanity. Kroger doesn’t need to make sure I’m me. The doctor says fill the scrip, you fill it.

Downvote me all you want.

Oh, don’t you worry your sweet little head, we will.

I voted for Oregon Measure 117 which will institute Ranked Choice Voting statewide in all elections.

Such a hard-ass line. Went out like a fucking boss.

When I was 18, I was slinging tapes as a Blockbuster assistant manager, and my go-to recommendation for customers was Strange Days. Then at age 40, I finally realized I was trans, and somewhere down the line it occurred to me that my love of this film should have been a clue.

Spaz’s House Destruction Party 2: Electric Boogaloo

Do you do that? I don’t do that.

Vs.

You do that? I don’t that.

Number 1 wins.

“If you use a wheelchair, then protect yourself by using a pair of crutches behind the soldiers I’m about to mow down.”

To combat Chinese gold farmers, Blizzard started selling gold in a bit of a roundabout way. For $20, you can buy a WoW token to sell on the auction house. This token can be purchased by a player and traded for 1 month of game time. Some players dont pay a dime to play - gold is not hard to acquire.

Eve Online has been doing that since 2008.

Good. Fuck Apple.