• 2 Posts
  • 15 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 10th, 2023

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  • I’m an American. The only vacations I’ve had in the last 5 years that aren’t work related trips have been staying home and cleaning. The big problem is lining up time when my wife and I both can take time off work, which has been nigh on impossible recently.

    To be clear, this isn’t bragging. I need a real vacation but the combination of COVID, wanting to buy a house, and my wife needing to spend her leave on things that aren’t vacation (sick leave, bereavement leave) has led us to not being able to sync something up since our honeymoon.




  • I just can’t help but think that if I had made that sort of comment in that sort of meeting, every boss or office I’ve worked for would have immediately taken corrective action, either publicly calling me into a separate meeting or by advising how such comments aren’t acceptable and noting how it violates policy.

    The fact that it was just ignored is so much more indicative of the culture than I think just about anything else in the video.


  • I think its more the implication that Linus looked like stripper on the table. But I appreciate that could be a stretch. I’m more concerned by a) instructing people to go directly to the person harassing them with no managerial oversight first, b) implying harassment complaints are drama, c) suggesting that its not their job to resolve harassment complaints by down playing them as “interpersonal problems” and d) intentionally or unintentionally suggesting that if you have a problem you are going against the fun environment, which instantly puts a harassment victim in an us vs them environment.

    I’m coming at this from a lawyer perspective, as I am a lawyer (albeit not an employment or harassment lawyer) and I’ve witnessed first hand how harassment and discriminated employees are not respected by management. I’ve seen how that impacts people’s mental health and how, especially for younger women, it creates a toxic cycle where it can be extremely difficult to leave because you’ve internalized the harassing and discriminatory experience to the point of thinking “well, who else will hire me? I can’t just get another job.”

    I realize if you have not experienced that or witnessed that, its hard to understand how a toxic environment can lead to that mindset. So hearing someone joking around in an emergency all company meeting may not immediately seem problematic. But when the subject of the meeting is harassment, and a high ranking manager just jokes around like its not a big deal, and that joke is tacitly approved of by the executive level (where there isn’t immediate correction), it all strikes me as a corporate culture that doesn’t respect the seriousness of harassment.

    I’m also biased as my office literally just had our annual harassment training yesterday.




  • I think a lot of the advice here is good, but if you feel you are being set off by every little thing, you may have something else that bothers you. I’ve got both ADHD and high levels of anxiety and definitely have times where I have extreme emotional sensitivity to things, especially where it feels like someone is challenging me or where I think they are making unreasonable demands.

    It’s taken a lot of work on my part to recognize that when those feelings are heightened I need to explore what are the stressors in my life and maybe what ever I’m snapping about is unrelated to what is setting me on edge. Sometimes its because I need to have a difficult conversation with one and I’m redirecting my feelings to more manageable places. Other times its huge amounts of stress and I need to take time to destress. And sometimes I just need to take a break or vacation or just find some me time to get away from people.

    Finding your coping mechanisms works, but the first step, as cliche as it is, is recognizing there is a problem. I used to snap at people a lot, especially for random BS. A combination of growing older (where your emotions stop hitting you as hard as they do in your teens and early twenties) and growing more awareness of myself and how I react to stimuli helps me deal with my emotions in more healthy ways.

    The long story longer is that you can absolutely deal with an anger issue, you just have to put the work into yourself to find the sources of those anger, be they actually tooling issues and learning how to pick those battles, or some other aspect of your life that is pushing on you that needs attention.






  • This is going to be a learning process I think for a lot of people. Not just on federation, but on community building as well. You all seem to be trying to build something here, and I am willing to be patient and participate while it grows. If we get down the road and it just isn’t working, I have faith that there will be open discussion on how to make this community grow while maintaining its ethos and we’ll be here to figure out what is best for each of us individually.

    Good on you for taking decisive action at these early stages while we figure out what we want, where we want to go, and how we want to get there on this relatively new platform.