i either speak too loudly or too quietly. i overenunciate everything, and have a vaguely General American accent when i speak English, so if i’m too loud then people conflate me with an amerikkkan tourist and sometimes get violent with me (i’m not a turtle ilander). neurotypicals from the southern and midwest US accuse me of ‘pretending i’m better than’ them; native speakers of other languages i speak similarly get defensive because i usually adopt a ‘standard’ ‘prestige’ dialect. bonus: i’m femme-passing, so being loud irritates cismen.

on top of it all, people tell me i’m pretentious because i use bIg wOrD and speak directly without any of the timewasting niceties and pleasantries of ‘normal’ speech, and — being a language nerd — i am very selective with my word choice, i use very narrow definitions of words (i hated the concept of ‘synonyms’ in school), and i like to use obscure/archaic terms where i think they fill an unfulfilled niche in my vocabulary… i sometimes sound like a tortured poet. i have trouble understanding spoken language, i lose my words a lot, and i get into stuttering fits. people (read: bullies) consider these great opportunities to mock the ‘snobby’ way that i speak. if i get started on a topic, i find it hard to notice when to shut the fuck up.

when i’m upset, my voice betrays my emotions. if i’m trying to deëscalate a situation or engage in nonviolent communication then i get accused of being manipulative.

all of this compounds to frustrate people’s worldviews, since they find it hard to believe i didn’t have a formal education and grew up in poverty, or that i struggle with mental health and neurological issues. so i also get accused of being a liar. and a manipulator. a lot.

these days i force almost everyone i talk to to only ever speak to me via IM or email (hOw maNipuLaTivE and DEMANDING), and i just avoid associating with neurotypicals as much as i can. no, it doesn’t make social functioning easier, but i don’t think it can be any easier.

*shruggie*

i would remove the tracker in your link (the ?si=).

if you’re not sure yet if you might be an anarchist, consider Are You An Anarchist? The Answer May Surprise You!.

also seconding this great comment over in [email protected].

seconding a focus on sexology; we don’t need another Institut für Sexualwissenschaft incident.

off the top of my head:

• The History of Sexuality (Michel Foucault 1976 – 84 + 2018)
• Transgender Warriors (Leslie Feinberg 1998)
• Gender Trouble (Judith Butler 1990)
• Undoing Gender (Judith Butler 2004)
• Caliban and the Witch (Silvia Federici 2004)
• Black on Both Sides (C. Riley Snorton 2017)
• The Stonewall Riots (Marc Stein 2019)

including all the works of Judith Butler and Silvia Federici.

more academically:

• Kinsey Reports; The Kinsey Institute: The First Seventy Years; and any other expansions on the work of the Kinsey Institute
• Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Healthcare: A Clinical Guide to Preventive, Primary, and Specialist Care (Kristen Eckstrand, Jesse M. Ehrenfeld 2016)

you can probably farm the bibilographies on these.

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it seems to be, yeah. i think it’s about how it’s prepared. tempeh, edamame or any ‘raw’ beans are a no-go if i’m unstable, but tofu’s been fine (and soya mince is okay, in moderation).

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when i’m fucked up, my ‘tummy stabiliser’ is:

1. two/three slices of toast with light amounts of plantbased margarine, cumin and salt; and
2. ginger tea (or tincture) with ~15 ml apple cider vinegar.

if i’m super fucked up (by my IBS), i also take some simeticone and loperamide with my stabiliser.

my recovery meals consist of things like: pedialyte, soymilk, vegetable/mushroom broth, tofu, rice, soysauce, applesauce, oatmeal, mashed potatoes, coconut yoghurt, saltines, graham crackers, spinach, nutritional yeast, and more toast.

there’s a bot that will do this for you over on lemmy.world. i think you’d like it better over there.

signed out, cleared cookies and cache, restarted browser, signed back in: same issue when in a new tab.

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