Not without also finger-punching some drainage holes for the oil…

OP it sucks that someone was shitty enough to steal something so special to you, but paying someone who is already marginalized by society to assault someone seems much more egregiously unethical… never mind illegal.

Is it eating if you’re real just acting as a piece of fleshy conduit?

Piano sommelier’s recommend tasting upright, with proper posture, to sustain the best notes of ivory, maple, mahogany, and rosewood. Cracking the lid before dining is crucial, and the only way to truly hammer home some of the more subtle dissonance between flavours.

Edit: If you find your piano is a bit too “stringy”, you may have to cook it longer. Young, over-confident, plucky chef’s often make this mistake.

Edit 2: over-cooking can also dampen the flavour, fyi.

Edit 3: one last thing, if the staff haven’t let piano rest, you’ll also want to pedal back your expectations, better to just hit up any other bar and maybe try a classical italian coda.

Edit 4: sorry, typo… soda.