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Cake day: June 5th, 2023

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  • JillyB@beehaw.orgto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneBe the rule
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    12 days ago

    I’ve recently made this decision with my lifelong closest friend. I’ve known about his changing views for a while but its really hard to let go of a friend I’ve had for 15 years. I justified it to myself because I wanted to make sure he had my perspective around and I thought he was starting to mellow out. Turns out he was just learning to avoid politics around his friends.

    It came to a head when I moved to a new city and he stayed with me for 2 weeks. After hanging with my local friends for a year, I realized I was always avoiding the elephant in the room with him. When I introduced him to my friends, I realized I was really hoping he wouldn’t say anything crazy. I was really hoping my trans friend wouldn’t show up in case he decided to make that a focal point. He’s been “getting more religious” (dominionist, christo-fascist). And I can tell he’s still disguising himself even when we talk openly about politics and religion.

    More recently, two other friends stayed with me for a week. They’re also long-time friends with the first guy. We all collectively realized that we were much more comfortable around each other than we were around him. I was excited to introduce them to my local friends. I never had to pick my words or hold my tongue. So I’m going low contact with him. It sucks but I can’t call someone a friend that has such fundamentally opposed values to my own. If it were just a difference in how much taxation is the right amount or how healthcare should be administered, I could look past it. But he’s gone pretty authoritarian and believes some of my other friends shouldn’t exist. I can’t reconcile that.









  • A hybrid bike would be a great place to start. Your first bike is rarely your last. As you ride it, you’ll gradually learn what you like and don’t like about it. Some things can be replaced or upgraded. Eventually you’ll have a better idea of what to get for your second bike. If you’re buying used, make sure there are no signs of rust, the brakes and shifters work as expected, there are no squeaky or metal-on-metal sounds, and the bike is appropriately sized for you, and you should be good to go.

    Also, you don’t have to do all the maintenance yourself. Bike service is usually pretty cheap. Some things I do myself, but when it requires special tools, the bike shop makes more sense.