Person 1: You thinking what I’m thinking?

both look at each other and nod and speak at the same time

Person 1: large scale general strikes and protests! Person 2: Nuclear holocaust!

Both: Wait, what did you say?

Praise be to the shareholder!

Yes, but still never zero.

Removed by mod

That’s right kids. You should always avoid alliteration!

Nah, I think it’d go more like this:

• Get it in the elevator and see them all in there.
• Go to press the button for your floor (the top floor) and see that it’s already pressed.
• Have a pleasant trip up.
• Arrive at your floor and the doors open.
• All three politely allow you to exit first.
• Step out of the lift safely.
• Elevator malfunctions, plummets and crashes through the foundation.
• Walk off thinking how nice they all were.

Where’s the profit in empathy?

Like stopping a child going for the cookie jar, it was just “get out of it”.

I believe you have my stapler…

That depends on how small a fraction of the profits are paid, smaller fraction = more sorry.

We’ll spare no expense!

They can even use the catchphrase “Roll out”

There is, but the profits aren’t as high as a slow apocalypse.

If that’s not pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, well then I don’t know what is.

But his plate armour already has dents in it! Why can’t I get new armour! Everyone is going to make fun of me!

Or like when you and a buddy are fucking a bear and yell “fuck”.

Oh yeah! Well then how do you explain that the transmission is working in kahoots with this engine! /s

But to them, they are rewarded. They get to beat and even kill minorities and poor people without consequences.

To be fair, they know the state of the world; I’d probably choose to stay in space.