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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: July 10th, 2023

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  • Well, as someone who adores horror movies of all styles from pure camp to serious, and as someone who feels hella nostalgia for MD, I thank you for putting The Bay on my radar!

    My husband is a super cinephile though, so Im super hell be interested in the others (provided he hasnt already seen them).


  • AquaTofana@lemmy.worldtoScience Memes@mander.xyzJust a little guy
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    2 days ago

    I grew up on the East Coast of the United States. MD and FL to be specific. Going to the beach was a regular thing in our household, whether it was the Chesapeake Bay or the Atlantic Ocean somewhere in West Palm Beach. My grandad has a house on the actual bay. Grew up spending every family gathering there. The adults would visit/catch up, and us kids would be in the water. I was NEVER scared of the water.

    Then, as a young adult, Im sitting at an inprocessing for a base in Okinawa, Japan, and the briefer is going over local hazards in the region.

    I had never heard of the Blue Ringed Octopus before.

    And from that moment on, I became terrified of things in the ocean.

    My husband always laughs about that story because its rare that they even make it into the waters around Oki, but that genuinely really was the moment that my brain was like “Omg, you have to worry about more than sharks in the ocean.”









  • I’m still trying to have a relationship with my parents despite their love of Trump. My mother, she’ll go out of her way to avoid politics with me and my husband, and I asked for a family photo with my nieces and nephews for Christmas, and she made sure all their Trump paraphernalia was removed. I still havent talked to her since the election as I’m still processing the fact that she voted for that fucker.

    My dad on the other hand…the last time I spoke to him ended in a screaming match that he initiated, where he hung up on me because I called him racist due to him UNIRONICALLY believing that immigrants ate dogs and cats.

    They want to homeschool my niece and nephew, and that terrifies me. That was ANOTHER huge argument that we had over the 2021-2022 Christmas period. I really didnt think Id ever go back after that. But Im so scared that if I dont try, those kids will never be exposed to ANYTHING other than my parents hateful views. I grew up in that environment. I had some views that Im not proud of today until I left home @ 19. I know how fucking convincing they are/how much they push the “fAmIlY oVeR eVeRyThInG” narrative.

    That being said, I dont live anywhere near them, and I only see them once, maybe twice in a year, so Im not sure exactly how much affect I can even have on my niece and nephew. But I feel guilty not trying.


  • Deleted prior comment because the comment didnt add to the conversation and I got lost in my own spiral.

    But Squid, I think its admirable to put your daughter first. Everyone with half a brain knows that decisions like this, uprooting an established family and everything you know, isnt made lightly/on a whim. You’re showing your support of her well-being, and every time you talk about her on here, you come off as such a loving parent. We should all be so lucky. And, youve talked about having chronic illness before and it sounds like youre headed to a place with socialized health care. I wish you and yours all the luck in the world.

    As for my husband and I, we’re childfree by choice, so we’re the best kinda people to stay behind. The kind who can weigh decisions against our own well being and decide what we can/cant handle exposing ourselves to without mixing up a child in this mess.

    Fuckin’ not staying in Texas tho.


  • Are you not even trying to understand how toxic masculinity has forced men to shut up and swallow their feelings, has prevented them from pursuing passions for being “too girly”/not lucrative enough to provide for their family? How its pushed “strongman” narratives, and anything less than that is seen as “weaker/less than”? You cant see how male rape/abuse victims are treated differently than female rape/abuse victims?

    Like, if you really cant open your eyes to how that may really affect someones mental health/quality of life, then I think you should do some work on learning empathy.

    The 25 year old dude working at the gas station is not the reason the patriarchy is an issue. He’s struggling along with the rest of us, and we’re telling him he has nothing to complain about and has it easier. Thats not okay.


  • I dont think men *don’t * extend empathy to us. I think Ive seen a hard shift from my parents (Gen X, they were young when they had me), to my Millenial husband and my friends. The vast majority (that Ive met, admittedly), seem like they’re on our side.

    But it feels like theyre also trying to be like “Hey, we’re dealing with shit too”, and we’re turning around and being like “Not right now” and its been “Not Right Now” for 30+ years.

    Are men perfect? Nah, but neither are we, and we have to make space for them to be validated as victims/people with struggles too. And we can also remind them to call out each other when theyre incorrect, and we need to do the same thing for each other which is what Im trying to do now.

    Dont be the reason that Lib women get an even worse rep than we already have. We can discuss both perspectives!


  • AquaTofana@lemmy.worldto196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneAbuse is abuse rule
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    18 days ago

    I agree, as a woman who very much cares about inclusive feminism. By silencing men who talk about their issues/pains, we push them further away. By pretending like men don’t have worries/fears/needs/wants, we’re doing them a disservice.

    The Patriarchy hurts everyone. Men need to know that if theyre abused by a woman, it doesnt make them “less of a man”, nor is it “their fault”. No one deserves abuse. They, as victims deserve to be acknowledged and handled with care, and have their abuse investigated/taken seriously just as much as a woman does.

    There’s room enough for us all to be equal.