I’ve tried getting into peertube to have something to watch. I’m exploring copyleft music on open audio / funkwhale. I’m on here in lemmy as of this week. I’m playing with mastodon and the fediverse. I’ve tried studying psychology and psychology-adjacent territory like Deleuze and Guattari and Foucault and Derrida so I can break down what the Facebook algorithms are doing to me, how pop and mainstream music is designed and produced in conjunction with advertising to screw with our heads and make us buy things, how YouTube music suggestion algorithms screw with my head and ultimately make me buy things, and I’ve tried to start learning to code on a basic level at least so I can convert my chromebook to Ubuntu and hopefully my android phone, which I’ve paid off completely, to some kind of fully open source OS.
I’ve let my Netflix subscription wither away after just not paying it and try to not care about it anymore. I have no idea what to do about Amazon or Amazon Prime. I have some very important movies like ‘Unhinged’ and ‘Donnie Darko’ on there. I need to buy certain things in the present framework of my life right now, things that, in a small town with a particular disability keeping me from driving, I can only get on Amazon.
I’m doing a lot. But I still find myself jonesing for that death consciousness of mindlessly scrolling through Facebook totally vulnerable to an AI superpower extracting maximum profit from me perpetually. Moderation no longer seems remotely realistic. I can’t shut the machine out. Has anybody found anything else I could try? I’m trying to find as many little strategies as possible.
This is just my opinion based on this post so don’t take my word for it unless it adds up to you, but it seems to me that you’re obsessing over the fear that big tech is causing your destructive / irreflexive / procastinating behavior and trying to cut all connection with big tech instead of possibly also addressing your relationship with whatever media/services/software you use.
My point is, if your entire life becomes FOSS and private and free of large corporate overlords, you might still find yourself engaging in self destructive doomscrolling somewhere or another, or mindlessly doing something else you don’t think is great doing.
While I applaud your efforts and I think you should be proud of the sacrifices and work you’ve done, I also think it might be a good moment to sit back and think of the big picture of how you’d like to fit into the contemporary world.
Wanna go fully off the grid? Sure, but understand the costs and try to be fair regarding the benefits. Want to minimize harm to yourself without loosing too much comfort? That’s great but there are a ton of ways you can improve your mental health and peace of mind beyond what platforms and software you choose to use.
I am an addict. a poly-substance addict, specifically. I’ll always be an addict, no matter how long I stay sober for and there’s nothing anyone can do about this. That’s OK, though. You know why? Because I understand that cravings for what we yearn for are just some of our fears in disguise. We fear on missing out, on not having, on not being, on going “hungry” on something. And when it happens and we feel it, we built it up so much with fear we made it into a monster and try to run away from the bad feeling as quickly as possible. We try to drown the desire with some other dopamine source… Doom scrolling, food, sexual release, video games, whatever.
When you understand satisfying a craving is just running away from fear, you can face your fear: “so what if this happens? bring it, bitches.” Of course sometimes you’ll still give in to what your better self wants to avoid, but sometimes you won’t and that’s a good thing.
Well, i don’t really have a point beyond inviting you to figure out what you’re really scared of, what the real problems you face are, and trying to go big picture on the best approach to address them for yourself.
01:30am staring at my phone and I absolutely needed to hear this. Thank you internet stranger!
You’re more than welcome. Rest Well!
I’ve been all over the map on this historically looking at every angle - there’s no understating that. After just such deep and broad consideration, at this point I think it is perfectly fair to be deathly concerned that big tech and the power structure of which they are a part do not remotely have our interests at heart. They have all of this psychological knowledge about addiction to which you refer, and they are using it to make people more addicted, more engaged, more dependent, all to make more money. It’s actually simple in that respect. It is my old naivety to even begin to think again that there is something socially responsible left at the foundation of big tech. I am not a flawless specimen of mental health independent of big tech, but the economic model upon which they are based is an important aspect of my overall problem in life. There is more room to heal, more room to breathe and lick my wounds apart from them on balance, so that is where I am headed. I am surprised that a decade after Edward Snowden there are actually still people saying “don’t be afraid” implying that the system is fundamentally good.
Hey, I don’t disagree with you, bud. Was just an invitation to look back not at the broken system itself, which is a given… but at your part in the whole thing and how you’d like to relate to it. Food for thought.
I’m just really traumatized by Facebook and all that. Sorry if I come off as triggerhappy or abrasive. I did see much of your point. It seems like our lives are increasingly based in cyberspace now for better, worse, or neither; so I feel like I’m fleeing an abusive domestic situation (big tech platforms as a home) where there was extensive trauma bonding going on between me and the algorithms.
I mean, It’s very understandable. The big boys are up to no good, and they can definitely do a lot of harm.
Best of luck on figuring your way around this whole thing! And congrats on your progress. :)
You’re overcomplicating things. Make the changes that are possible, don’t make the changes that aren’t. There’s no trophy for being an extremist. Live the life that makes you happy; that’s the point of it all. If leaving social media makes you happy, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t. It’s easy and uncomplicated.
It’s not extremist to point out how messed up this massive tech supermachine is and how it’s milking us all mercilessly for every last dollar and cent and calorie. If you think that is radical then you are unfortunately quite deep in the machine. Things have to fundamentally change.
You completely misunderstood my comment.
You’ve made a great start but it’s not a switch you can flick - it’s a process and it takes time to rewire your brain’s reward systems. Weeks.
Hang in there.
For a YouTube replacement, maybe look into Nebula, it’s a subscription streaming service, but owned by the content creators, no ads. It also has some podcasts.
Regarding music, I listen mostly to somaFM. It’s an Internet radio with lots of different stations. Mostly independent artists. It’s free, no subscription, no ads, listener supported (you can donate/buy merch to support them).
You’re suffering from withdrawal, really.
Since most culture has been subverted by capitalism, media has become exploitative to a fault. Most media made today, wether it’s film, music, video games, etc, are assembled by committee to figure out how to exploit your baser senses, your impulses.
When being submerged in this exploitative media over a longer period of time, much like doom scrolling, your brain has gotten used to the incentives your brain produces, creating a habitual cycle. It’s also important to note that if you have to use your brain, most likely the media is not exploitative enough, which is why Hollywood produces mindless schlock - because it makes you feel good.
So your choice is either
- Abandon all media, for a longer period of time and return sparingly (detox), or
- Winding down the media consumption and only choosing ethical media (decrease dosage incrementally).
Treat modern media like drugs, because they are.
Exactly this. @[email protected] trying to cut big tech out cold turkey is laudable (quite admirable actually), OP should also realize that getting the feeling of missing out is normal at first and not stress too much over it. Taking it at a comfortable pace, trusting yourself and keeping the goal in mind will make the need for big tech slowly fade away.
I usually get rid of things when they inevitably turn sour from “enshittification”. For example I abandoned FB Messenger when they killed the Lite version of the app. I abandoned Reddit over 3 months, and by the time I wrote my last post swearing off it, I was only checking it a couple times a week and I was fully on the Lemmy train.
If you’re worried about missing certain shows, I would honestly recommend piracy. It’s remarkable how much nicer and less anxiety-provoking it is to watch shows, movies, play games, etc when you don’t have any restrictions on what you can use, and you don’t have to think about whether you’re getting value out of your subscription fees.
I would recommend realdebrid + stremio + mullvad vpn, but there are loads of options. You can look up a piracy community, they’ll usually have a wiki to explain how.
And I don’t think these things are inherently manipulative. They’re made by artists who are genuinely invested in making good things. It’s the middlemen that corrupt a lot of it.
I also watch youtube with adblock and sponsorblock on, it’s a much nicer experience.
And if you want something worth paying for, I can also recommend Dropout.tv. They have incredible improv comedy shows and actual play TTRPG shows.
Sit quietly in a room and meditate. Every time you want to reach for a device, meditate for 5 minutes. Just breathe.
Or just go for a walk without any tech.
Edit: separate the capitalist bit from what you’re going through. Dependency is an individual experience, and there are dealers out there, but it’s all about choices you make for yourself.
I don’t think that capitalism is the only means of entertainment. Socialism brought us libraries. You can rent books and DVDs.
I completely agree. The post kinda combined the two ideas and I was trying to suggest separating them. Anyone can get harmfully hooked on anything.
my android phone, which I’ve paid off completely
I think this is about where I realized your anxiety has more to do with your financial situation than your technology situation. Your worries are about the way you spend money, how much you spend, what you spend it on, and how corps try to part you from your money. Like another commenter said, all the free and open technology in the world isn’t going to magically balance your checkbook… though of course, it will help!
Yeah installing Ubuntu is great, learning to code is great, these are valuable endeavors if for no other reason than just to learn and try new things, but you don’t need to learn programming to “convert your chromebook to Ubuntu.”
I have no idea what to do about Amazon or Amazon Prime. … things that, in a small town with a particular disability keeping me from driving, I can only get on Amazon.
If using Amazon is unavoidable, then it is what it is. There’s no shame in using them to get what you need. If you’re concerned about, say, your habit of impulse buying (not an accusation, just an example), you could try setting up a secured credit card with a spending limit so you can only use it for exactly what you need.
death consciousness of mindlessly scrolling through Facebook
Block Facebook in your router settings (or get a Raspberry Pi, install Pihole, and set up a block rule there). If you need Facebook to communicate with friends and family, could you rely solely on Messenger? That way you don’t need to see anything on Facebook other than your DM’s.
If your mental health is dire enough that all that’s not enough, you probably need a therapist. You can even get it through some tele-health programs (YMMV). Hope this helps!
If it were me, I would reflect about what is “vital” to me, like what do I need to live.
In your case, Amazon seems mandatory, don’t change it.
For social media, you don’t need it, unless you have people to contact there, just find a more simple way to interact with them like good old emails, and delete your accounts.
For media, we can live without, but I would say that for me, music is important and I keep spotify over netflix if I had to choose.
Now, you’ve realized the root of the problem, the solution is not so far away ;)Get a library card and go to town on some books. I’m using reading to replace my social media/Netflix/YouTube time. Aiming for one book every two weeks for 2024 since I’m a pretty slow reader.
Bonus: If your library has Libby you can rip the DRM using calibre and build out your collection on your ereader. My library offers free music streaming and 5 DRM-free mp3 downloads/day from “freegalmusic”. They also offer free streaming services for movies and TV but I haven’t used those since the point is to read more not watch more bullshit, but could aid as way of weaning yourself off after cancelling other subscriptions
I like to slap on my Fitbit and my Oculus, jump on my Peloton and just get out into nature and ride.
don’t stress out about it - you’re on the right path, so just keep exploring. For music, depending on your location, there are various internet stations that broadcast indie and other stuff that is not mainstream. Also go to local concerts and buy CDs from artists - they actually need it. You should’ve been prepared to forfeit ownership of anything on amazon prime, kindle etc, for amazon has long history of denying people access to stuff they assumed they owned. For movies we collect DVD/Bluray disks as I don’t trust any of the streaming providers, nor do I want to share with them my viewing habbits (downside: you need storage space for those). For podcasts I love AntennaPod on Android. For books we always opt for unencumbered epubs, sometimes pdf which are abundant. Audiobooks through librivox are a thing as well. I will repeat myself: don’t stress out. Take it as a wild safari and go hunting for new and exciting things that are not entangled with big corps that suck the soul out of everything : artists, consumers, employees, shareholders, etc.
Try a detox for a day.
Just leave your phone somewhere and go for a walk. Go watch a game. Go to the pub. Just leave you phone at home.
I find music and the outdoors do right by me. If you need tunes I’m sure myself and other lemmyfolk can hook you up with genres you like without helping corpo wallets. I’ll start: if you like industrial, check out The Birthday Massacre. Great Canadian band. I think their website has free downloads and they’ve got merch if you choose to support them.
Good job starting, that’s the hardest part. It takes time to ween yourself away. Make it inconvenient to check social media. Delete the apps and make yourself login to the webapp every time. Kodi is a good streaming platform if you’re okay with piracy.
