• InevitableSwing [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      An aide comes in and is immediately concerned. “Your Holiness - what is troubling you?”

      “Archbishop Menendez. He’s a muckety-muck in the New World. Every letter I get from him he demands he be allowed to eat capybara on Fridays. But it is a large mammal not a fish or even a creature of the waters. He is such a pain in my— I mean, he’s a very difficult man but also of vital importance to save millions upon millions of heathen souls.”

      “May I be so bold… May I ask you a question.”

      Nods sagely.

      “What if you made capybara a fish?”

      “But… If… Aide - make a sign of the cross, kneel and bow your head! The Lord Our God is speaking to me.” The aide does as he’s told and he’s in awe. To the room and to himself he says “God says… capybara can be considered a fish!” Then to the aide he says “Rise! Rise! Go an fetch me fine parchment. The very fanciest kind - the best we got. I must compose a letter immediately.”

      The aide rises, bows his head to the Pope and starts to leave the large hall.

      Very quietly because the great hall is echoey the Pope says to himself “Why didn’t I think of that earlier?”