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Washington, DC – Authorities in the United States have closed the investigation into the source of cocaine found at the White House without identifying a suspect “due to a lack of physical evidence”, the Secret Service has said.
The announcement on Thursday could further fuel conspiracy theories by Republicans, including former President Donald Trump, linking the drug without evidence to President Joe Biden, a Democrat, and his son, Hunter.
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For all we know Donald Trump Jr. secretly dropped it there to stir nonsense up. It’s as preposterous as thinking Hunter Biden accidentally forgot it there.
How are there no fingerprints on the bag? Was it a bag? No touch DNA at all? Not video? No visitor logs? Seems strange there is zero evidence.
Maybe all those CIA and FBI movies are just made up and they are actually very incompetent in practice?
I mean, Fidel Castro survived 600 assassinations, you can’t make this shit up.
Our they discovered it was the presidents or was old shit from Trump time. And they decided to just forget it already enough crimes he isn’t going be punished for so they decided to let this one slide.
I mean I bet half the fucking government is on some drug.
They are. It’s a not so secret secret on the hill
Why does it have to be a conspiracy? There could have been tons of fingerprints, and they have no way of knowing which ones are related to the cocaine. Visitor logs? For everyone that entered that area?
Lot of people trying real hard to make stuff like this into something it’s not. Until it’s about one of “their guys”, then no amount of hard evidence would matter of course.
Now I’m imagining the south park episode
“I dropped the bag.” “No I dropped the bag.”
I didn’t drop it… but can I have it back
For all we know, someone on the Secret Service could have been having a snow day.
oh, c’mon… as if that guy would leave any cocaine un-sniffed…
I’d be willing to bet that a significant portion of our nation’s fine leaders are coked up and drunk most of the time.
Imagine how relieved someone out there is
I think it’s equally plausible that it was planted as it is that it was forgotten.
You all know this is the first time there has ever been cocaine in the white house, right?
Right
Stop, the joke is writing itself.
In 1997, during the presidency of Bill Clinton, a small amount of cocaine was found in a bathroom near the Oval Office. The discovery led to a controversy, but it was never definitively established who the cocaine belonged to or how it ended up there. Some reports suggest that the drugs were left behind by previous administration staff.
So the next time someone leaves drugs at my house, the probe better end with no suspect. Jesus fucking Christ.
The White House is more like a business tho.
I have a nose for these things. Send me the evidence and I’ll sniff the culprit out.
I hate the people saying this is from Hunter.
There’s no way he’d leave his coke just laying around! That shit is on his person at all times, so it is always on hand.
