Here’s a few from me:
What’s a policeman’s least favorite vehicle? - A cab!
What’s is the biggest problem with Israel? - That it is real!
What did Margaret Thatcher say to a socialist? -Nothing, because she’s dead!
Hi Trotsky, I’m icepick!
Two-state solution? I don’t know, that sounds like a lot of Palestines but we can give it a try
You know what’s the problem with Communists? -They have no class!
How does Lenin start a race?
On your Marx, get set, go!
Why do patsocs hate progressive web apps?
answer
Because they need service workers to function.
[CW: mild suicide joke (It’s just Hitler tho)]
What do you call a room full of Soviets having dinner? -The Fed Army!
What do you call a room full of Reddit admins? -also The Fed Army! :fedposting:
What did Biden say when he mistook someone for Obama? - You ain’t Barak!
Why did Hitler shoot himself? -He was bad at Russian Roulette!
What was Stalin’s favorite bird? -only a spoonbill!
Why didn’t the American call an ambulance? -He can’t afford one!
(Okay that last one just made me sad. :yea:)
whats the diffrence beetween God and a Liberal ?
spoiler
god can not change the past
At the most inopportune moments chime in with “Well, it’s as Maggy Thatcher [replace as fitting] would say: OH GOD IT’S SO HOT DOWN HERE, JESUS CHRIST I’M BURNING, THE DEVIL IS STICKING ME WITH HIS FORK”
Important to either really commit to the second bit or give it the most disaffected tone possible, doesn’t work otherwise
Why do communists only drink herbal tea?
:lenin-laugh:
Because proper tea is theft
Why do communists only create music when working collective farms?
:dont-laugh:
Because they know proletariat produces the best beats!
Why do middle managers hold grudges?
Because they belong to the petty bourgeoisie.
I’m very fond of my communist party shirt.
https://www.threadless.com/shop/%40threadless/design/the-communist-party
What do you say to an Irish Egyptologist?
Up the Ra!
What’s the most popular rom-com in Cuba?
High Fidel-ity
:doggo-matapacos: What the dog doing? :comrade-doggo:
Reading Karl Barx. :barx:
Why did the USSR take so long to declare war on the Nazis?
They were Stalin for time.