I didn’t mean for this post to cause a bunch of arguing in the comments =(

I thought this was just some gallows humor (e.g. “Everything’s lovely except that I have to fear for my safety all the time”) type of shitpost that sounded similar to comments I’ve heard from women irl a lot.

  • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
    6417·
    23 hours ago

    Random woman: I like late night walks, but I’m scared for my safety.

    This thread for some reason: YOU DON’T THINK MEN GET SCARED? MURDERED!?

    Like, chill. Yes, men can absolutely be murdered/hurt walking alone. But are we really going to sit here and act like women are making up their concerns/grievances out of spite? For some reason, if anyone mentions a general concern/issue related to women’s experiences with men, some people trip over themselves to say how it’s actually not an issue and how it’s actually so much worse for men. If I’m listening to a male DV victim and I go, “well, actually, women are more likely to be victims of DV. You know, it’s actually not even an issue for you. Here, look at these numbers that prove that women are the victims. Do you not mention it because you hate women? Why are you trying to ruin our spotless reputation as delicate flowers that can do no wrong with your lies”, you would think I was nuts, and for good reason.

    • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
      42·
      10 hours ago

      I mean these comments are pretty insane but cmon you know what you said is not equivalent, this meme uses othering language and people got mad at it because it groups them with people they likely despise. Why can’t we just be on the same team? If I say “being outgoing is a vibe too bad women love emotionally abusing people” I sincerely hope you wouldn’t defend that.

      • 2ugly2live@lemmy.world
        22·
        9 hours ago

        I wouldn’t defend it because I wouldn’t even think it was talking about me in the first place. Some women are emotionally abusive, but I wouldn’t assume they literally meant every single woman on earth is an asshole and feel the urge to swoop in with, “Hey, not all women. Some of us are nice! Here, look at these studies that show that women are more likely to be in the other end of the abuse!”

        Honestly, I’m more concerned if you think the threat of murder at night is a comparable threat to emotional abuse from any gender.

        • starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works
          3·
          4 hours ago

          That’s fine for you, but people who are judged or seen as dangerous just for the way they are (i.e. often just being a man) might be sensitive to things that imply they’re dangerous because they probably experience it in their daily lives too (a kid being less trusting towards you, a person taking a wider path around you). Angry responses usually come from a place of hurt, these are would-be allies who are just reading it differently.

          Not gonna lie that may have been the most depressing thing I’ve ever read. Please read a book on ptsd if you think it’s not comparable to the fear of being killed. “The body keeps the score” is a great book which includes cases caused by emotional abuse.

    • booly@sh.itjust.works
      61·
      15 hours ago

      I get that Lemmy skews young and male and not on 2010s social media (like old Twitter) but it’s almost like they weren’t around for the discussions that the “NotAllMen” hashtag generated, or the coining of the term sea lioning.

    • KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de
      514·
      17 hours ago

      Read the text again, there is no mention of fear. It doesn’t even mention anyone being scared. It says something else.

      Also: women do in fact make shit up. For many reasons, including spite.