I thought to just make a public post about this. I’ve seen many people get married with the vows “Death Do Us Part”

This is a good vow don’t get me wrong but I’d encourage finding an alternative that doesn’t include death unless you truly mean it. What this entails if you mean it,

If someone cheats. The other partner has the right to kill them, if one tries leaving without mutual agreement. The other one can kill them. It’s not about anything unhealthy but two people collectively agreeing to a statement.

If you don’t want that then something like Till Time Do Us Part.

This way there is no death involved and your relationship isn’t built on a false and shallow promise.

Like any weddings I go to. I will call out, if they ever ask if anyone opposes. Then I’ll explain this.

  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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    28 days ago

    I don’t like the concept of marriage so I may be poorly informed on this but my understanding is that “Until death do us part” means that you’re both agreeing to cherish and respect each other til you die. Not that you’ll kill the other one of they break that vow.

    • DaddysLittleSlut@lemmy.worldOP
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      28 days ago

      It’s odd to assume it wouldn’t have originally been that. Like I believe it is currently but in that case it’s because they find an alternative meaning to it. Since in my mind it’s like yes so you will part when someone dies or Till Death do us part. So in return if it’s that then I’d assume it has killing part of it if you both don’t mutually agree yk.

      • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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        28 days ago

        There’s no “or else” in the statement. If you break the vow you broke the vow. Consequences of breaking a vow aren’t necessarily death even in more barbaric times. Certainly not today unless you live in some backwards country that allows “honor” killing. Most people don’t expect their relationship to fail when they get married but shit happens, people change, sometimes they’re lying to their partner about who they are. It’s not always something you can work through and stay together. Saying people deserve death for that is incredibly fucked up. Imagine someone in an abusive marriage having to deal with that.

        • DaddysLittleSlut@lemmy.worldOP
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          28 days ago

          That is why I encourage to use other vows. So for example you don’t say a false statement. Like Time do us part. Though of what I’ve found and inherited there is a few cultures that truly mean it. If you break it. You bring dishonour upon yourself, your ancestors, kids and family in general. So while one of my inherited cultures while meaning it. If you broke the vow as I said would bring the dishonour mentioned above. It’d also basically deface you. You’d be less trusted or other. Though in my more other heritage. If you broke this vow. There would be heavy consequences or even death. As vows were placed on a spiritual level. Said in front of alters of gods/goddess.

          This is why I also encourage people to find another saying. While most times. Even if this is said a person is abusive they can already get out. As most times if they can document substantial proof. Anyone would help them get out.

          • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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            27 days ago

            Yes, breaking the vow gives you a bad name. That is the consequence. Not death. There’s no need to kill them unless you’re just a controlling asshole and want something to hold over their head to keep them from leaving you. You really think somebody deserves to die over a relationship not working out?

            As vows were placed on a spiritual level. Said in front of alters of gods/goddess.

            Then leave it to the gods to sort them out. How is it you think you know better than a divine being?

            Even if this is said a person is abusive they can already get out. As most times if they can document substantial proof. Anyone would help them get out.

            So there is wiggle room then? What’s the line? Physical abuse? Mental abuse? Being financially irresponsible? Laziness? Forgetting to take out the garbage? Where do we start killing the other person for failing to properly respect their vow and where do we just let them go?

            • DaddysLittleSlut@lemmy.worldOP
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              27 days ago

              I’d say it’s less about being controlling or hold it over their head but a mutual agreement. Both have the right to kill the other person in case. Also for sure. Marriage is a binding of two souls into one. Their lives as an equal partnership. To shame oneself in such a way would bring shame upon the other side. So to regain their dignity and respect. It is necessary.

              I mean I am Demigod and recognized as enlightened by different cultural ideas. Though it’s not that I know better outright but through cultural traditions. Some more harsh than others. Do call for such action.

              Any harm that wasn’t asked for or consented to in the first place. Like if your partner slaps you or hits you in a harmful way with no prior things to agress such actions. Then it is time to get out. Though understand there is a fine line between defensive action and aggression. Alongside mental abuse for sure, get out of there! Since at that point either one is not caring for the other person. Laziness and financially irresponsible. Is a more nuanced. It’s important to consider giving them time to better themselves learn how to not be but if things get bad. Mainly if they’re a Mexican. Call their mother 😆 no no but seriously go to therapy and if they can’t learn from their you’d have a professional opinion to warrant leaving that relationship.

              As for if they are abusing you or being mentally abusive and don’t stop. Catch it on recording. Then kill them too. Most of the killing is for things like undiscussed leaving and not mutually assured and respectful. Cheating or abuse. Also it’s equally enforceable. Both parties can.

              (Btw I’m not saying Mexicans are lazy but that their mother would put them straight)