Why YSK: Interviewers like to weed out people who have gaps in their employment history for myriad nonsensical reasons. If you remember that this is all just a game to the employer, you can play to win.
Fill the gaps with a story about a failed foray into entrepreneurship in a related field.
I had a massive gap and this worked gangbusters after six months of constant rejection. The gap was caused by my mother’s health rapidly deteriorating, and my sense of responsibility to care for her - which became a full time job until she passed.
After that, I went through the dehumanizing experience of dozens of interviews where I was asked about the gap. Describing why I took the time out of the workforce was hard enough - adding insult to injury was the homogenous reactions among all interviewers. You could watch them mentally write me off in real time, and then go through the motions before sending me off to wait for a “the organization has interviewed several great candidates” email.
It occurred to me that instead of baring my pain for callous interviewers, what they’d rather hear about was a “go-getter” whose spirit has been broken enough to come crawling back to the rat race. So I concocted a story about a failed attempt at being an entrepreneur in their industry.
Lo, and behold - After I stopped telling the truth and started telling people about Vandelay Industries` mighty struggle to remain solvent due to market forces, I found myself with three offers in the same number of weeks.
The difference in interviewers` whole demeanor between “took care of dying mother,” and “had to see if I could get Vandelay Industries off the ground while I was young enough to be able to recover from a failure” was night and day.
Read about failed startups. Rehearse.
Everybody lies in the corpo-world. Lie better.
This is great advice, coming from someone who pondered using the “Mother was really sick and had to manage her illness and passing” excuse if I ever went back, as it was true for me too. (I’m sorry for your loss, it’s a really painful life transition, I know.)
I ended up taking a slightly different approach. I worked in IT project management before I retired early. My LinkedIn resume shows me currently employed as an “IT consultant” and will until I decide I need another job or I kick it.
I’ll put on “waste management consultant” because technically its what the human body kind of is…
If you’re a graphic designer or something similar, the gaps can always be filled with “freelance designer”
Honestly, a lot of people lie or at least embellish during the hiring process. Hell, company can mislead you about the company culture, scope of responsibilities, and room for advancement. So, it really is in your best interest to put forward the best version of yourself, even if it involves filling in the gaps a bit, as long as it is within reason.
I have worked in a hiring position in the past. How many times do you think the company actually checked or attempted to confirm certifications or degrees? It didn’t happen.
So yes, do what you have to do to get the job. So long as the job gets done well and everyone is happy.
I’m very sorry for your loss.
Appreciated. This happened many years ago, so I’m used to my new normal.
I posted this here because I was going through my exported posts/comments from reddit, and realized that I have a ton of intellectual property that I feel can be shared with others without their involvement.
I had to lie to get jobs too. I left home at 16 and worked full time through high school/college to support myself. After getting my degree, I watched as all my classmates got good paying jobs while I didn’t. Eventually after 20 or so interviews I lost my cool and asked why I was getting turned down. “Well, we don’t want a laborer handling our accounting records. Maybe work as a receptionist or executive assistant for a few years to prove you’re capable of office work?”.
So I started lying. I took all of my previous work history off my resume and advertised myself as a fresh college grad. It worked… At first. Once I started talking about basic work things in the interview they knew I was lying and wouldn’t go further. So I took a different tactic: lie about my unofficial title being higher than what a background check would say, but “admitting” that I couldn’t get promoted because I was a nepo hire.
Oddly enough that worked REALLY well. Everyone loved the idea that I got jobs through connections instead of my own hard work. They loved that I walked, talked, and dressed like someone who breezed through life. My only guess is that I came off as one of the “popular kids” and they wanted me at their table. In just a month I had a dozen offers across the industry.
I absolutely agree with you. If you’re trying to dig yourself out of unemployment or poverty, lie, lie LIE! Interviews are notoriously bad at determining whether or not you’re a good employee. Do everything you can to play into people’s biases and let them fill in the blanks.
This is interesting. I’m gonna have to tell some of my friends looking for work about this one. It’s gross as heck that it works but whatever I guess.
Never tell the truth in an interview. Tell them what they want to hear.
And act interested in the company. I asked about some trucks in a framed picture on the hiring room’s wall and I got the job like one day later
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/987822225941995560/1120077838234689626/IMG_7902.jpg
My sister sent me this a while ago and it’s scary how accurate this is.
As someone who is taking a break from the workforce to care for a baby (lol childcare costs), I’m already struggling to not feel shame when I admit it to acquaintances. I’ll definitely be bullshitting if/when I come back.
You don’t even really need to bs it that much.
“For thr last years I have held a really important position at a small company, working with logistic, settlements, transport, and economics. I have grate experience working under a lot of stress and can handle it with grate care. I have been the go to person for all important tasks and I have handled them within time and budget. I am a excellent spider in the web and can have many balls in the air without problem.”
With a bit creativity writing parenting can sound like a lot jobs, just change the text up a bit to fit what you are looking for.
On top of justifying your employment gaps, laying through your fucking teeth is a mighty effective tactic in job interviews in general.
You have the experience they’re looking for. Where did you get it? Toys r us, sears, choose any company that went bankrupt. List your friend (coach them on what to say) as your manager at that place.
You love overtime when it’s necessary. You don’t have anyone at home waiting for you so if there’s work to do you’re happy to get a bigger paycheck instead of being bored all night. It doesn’t matter if it’s true because that guy told you “we don’t ask for overtime often, we work well”. Both of you were lying, it’s fine.
You need a certification from a bullshit company like AWS or Azure (not actually useful certs like forklift mind you, please do stay secure). Don’t fucking pay for it, tell them you had the opportunity to follow the classes but we’re too busy with work to pass the exam! Sure you don’t have the paper to show for it but you know what you’re talking about! And you’re such a great candidate why would you like to them about that?
Lie through your teeth everytime you get the chance, because they’re doing it too. Worse case scenario? They find out and never call you back. Oh no! The thing they were going to do if you didn’t lie!
I do this for every job lol. It always worked out and after they hire you, its much harder to fire you for their petty reasons.
This guy jobs.
I’ve only ever had one company call any of my references lmao
My current job is the only one that ever has
I know because the first one is my wife, who was actually my boss for a while
On the way home from the interview HR called her, she was in the car with me lol
Wow, you actually fucked your boss!
Wage labor is dehumanizing in it’s current form.
I don’t know what industry you’re in but I’m sorry this happened. The same happened to me and I found a job within two weeks; my hiring manager told me that I had excellent values.
It’s always good to hear that there are still people who see fair treatment!
Your field can make a difference, but I think it really depends on the breadth of your skillset, timing, luck and location if you’re an office drone.
This happened to me several years ago, and the conditions weren’t the best because I had recently decided to change careers. I had low experience in my chosen field, but it ended up being worth the pain.
Doing well now, and the combination of career experience opened a lot of doors. Mom would be proud! :)
Wow, that’s fucked. Not that you’re recommending this, but that it’s necessary at all.
Generally speaking, HR/talent acquisition teams have very little accountability with regards to their processes and treatment of candidates. Usually most candidates have very little recourse to provide feedback on the process, and HR/talent acquisition have very little interest in speaking with candidates about the process for improvement.
What ultimately happens therefore is candidates tell HR/talent acquisition what the latter wants to hear, and the latter group of people don’t usually have the cognizance to realize that their own biases and perceptions cloud their process.
It’s “necessary” in so far as the entire system is corrupted to the core. That’s why knowing someone is so much more powerful – knowing someone skips a lot of this process.
I’ve twice now just claimed to be employed, and refused to give a reference because I didn’t want to fuck up my job if I didn’t take the new offer. Worked both times.
Just say you signed an NDA /s
I unironically pondered this approach, but came to the realization that the background checkers would still see a gap. (And that it wouldn’t create intrigue as much as it would frustrate the interviewer.)
Hey, if it makes the interviewers life just a little bit worse, isn’t that what really counts?
How is the import/export business these days?
You should give up the exporting and stick to importing
yeah, uh ya know uh trade and stuff
OPEC and tariffs and pareto efficiency
I’m more of a mergers&acquisitions type of guy
Murders and Executions huh?
No time to talk! I’m in latex now.
