CW: chapter 2 contains a detailed description of child abuse by a parent

Hello comrades, it’s time for our second discussion thread for The Will to Change, covering Chapters 2 (Understanding Patriarchy) and 3 (Being a Boy). Thanks to everyone who participated last week, I’m looking forward to hearing everyone’s thoughts again. And if you’re just joining the book club this week, welcome!

In Ch.2 hooks defines patriarchy, how it is enforced by parental figures and society at large, and the struggle of antipatriarchal parents to raise children outside of these rigid norms when the border culture is so immersed in them. Ch.3 delves deeper into the effects of patriarchy on young boys and girls and the systemic apparatuses that reinforce gender norms.

If you haven’t read the book yet but would like to, its available free on the Internet Archive in text form, as well as an audiobook on Youtube with content warnings at the start of each chapter, courtesy of the Anarchist Audio Library, and as an audiobook on our very own TankieTube! (note: the YT version is missing the Preface but the Tankietube version has it)

As always let me know if you’d like to be added to the ping list!

Our next discussion will be on Chapters 4 (Stopping Male Violence) and 5 (Male Sexual Being), beginning on 12/11.

  • PM_ME_YOUR_FOUCAULTS [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    16·
    14 days ago

    I want to be the kind of parent that is supportive of whatever decisions my kids make especially if they’re right, but I’m terrified that they’ll be rejected by their peers as they get older. The male loneliness was very relatable to me and not something I want my kids to have to experience. It feels like there is no way to escape patriarchal thinking, best case you can cross some lines but go too far outside the constraints and you’ll be rejected by all your peers who are glued to whatever the youtube algo fed them.

    This is a question I struggle with also. I ultimately came to the conclusion that even if he gets hurt by his peers, I don’t want to police my son’s gender before the world has a chance to. However I live in a very diverse, liberal area, so there’s at least some degree of tolerance and acceptance of difference. If I thought he might get hate crimed for wearing pink shoes I might come to different conclusions