They missed so many opportunities to make it actually a nightmare. Adding these should help…
Standard plan:
- 2 DPI settings. (50, 32000)
Premium plan:
- 3 DPI settings! (50, 100, 32000)
- Ad Free!
Pro-gamer plan ($45/mo)
- Mouse acceleration toggle
- 1 customizable DPI settings (more available @ $5/mo each)
- Middle mouse click functionality unlocked! (Bound to backspace. Customizable binding @ $2/mo)
- AI tooltips to suggest when/where to click next. ($5/Mo to disable)
- Cloud backup*
*Requires Internet connection. Mouse falls back to standard plan and settings when not connected. Requires device reboot to re-enable subscription after disconnect.
Edit: formatting
Thanks Satan
This hurts to read.
No, you can’t disable AI, because “people want that” ™
How long could a mouse take to reboot, Michael? An hour?
$10 for unlimited scrolling!
And it will anti cheat a little on the cheap tier when you play games.
At least this provider gives unlimited free scrolling!
Oh god oh no I used my last click now I can’t select a plan
Yes you can! Only $0.10 per additional click!
And how will I click that? Oh, it’s automatic! For our convenience!
“remind me later” works only if you double click it.
Well, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve read in a while. I have a Trackman from 2004 that’s still plugging along, no subscription software updates required. If your stuff isn’t shit, it lasts forever anyways.
I remember back when Logitech was a brand that was known for quality.
My current led mouse has been going for 10 years with no signs of slowing down, so take that sub and stuff it
You know what, I’d be all behind a subscription mouse so long as it includes periodic hardware upgrades and unlimited warranty replacements no questions asked so long as the subscription is paid.
Admittedly, I’d be trying to figure out the most interesting ways to actively destroy mice to make them rue the day they thought a mouse subscription was a good idea, but that’s beside the point. Why no, I can’t return the damaged mouse, it’s at the bottom of a hole in the woods no human has been down since the civil war. Just like it was none of your business how I found out that the mouse isn’t resistant to hydrofluoric acid.
Business idea: The mouse manufacturers play the middle man in the click economy. Users can add an extra “click safety” package for $3,99/month, which prevents them from clicking on ads/misleading content. “Good” and “ethical” advertisers can get in touch with the “business communication” office of the mouse manufacturers to buy exception deals, because “their ads are okay”
This is close enough to reality that I’m irritated.
Close enough? Ma dude, Logitech really wanted to do this shit, but has to backpedal after getting massive flak.
I didn’t believe you so I googled it and you are correct. For fuck sake…
Quickest way to make me DIY my own mouse.
It’s reminding me of the 3rd party utility apps on the Apple Store.
They seem to have ditched “limited features for free” in favour of “nothing at all until you subscribe, first 7 days free”
Do not read aloud from a book that summons demons. Not even as a joke.
It’s all fun and games, until it becomes real and people buy it, then all competitors align and it’s the new norm.
Living in 2024, I’m not even sure if this is a joke or not. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a subscription for damn oxygen soon. Oh, wait, that’s taxes!
It’s only partially a joke. I can’t remember who but some company was bragging about their subscription based mouse they had in the works.
This reads like an onion article. Who’s constantly buying new mice? And they’re trying to target consumers who “don’t have both a mouse and keyboard” by trying to sell them a $200 mouse…
I’ve been using the same razer chroma I bought 15 years ago and it’s still perfectly fine.
Unless you pay a carbon tax or pay taxes that pay for CCS, taxes aren’t supplying air.
your red pixel clicking cartridge has run out. you wont be able to click on any other pixels until you refill your red pixel clicking cartridge.
Third party clicking cartridge detected. Please purchase a supported cartridge from Logitech, or our partnered retailers.
I can navigate with keyboard shortcuts.
I’m sorry, you are out of keyboard clicks.
I’ll just use my graphics tablet.
I’m sorry, you’re out of graphics.
Connect with rdp with my laptop with a touchscreen
You’re out of RDPs
I can cry.
Subscribe to tears monthly for more tears you’ve reached your tears limit for this month.
☹️ but i cant click to subscribe.
You can, but it’s 10 cents a click!
Just buy a second mouse. C’mon dude, it’s like you’re not even trying to pay!
puts dollar near CD drive
it actually takes it
Holy shit.
I have a CD drive!
You can only click after watching
3511 ads.Data pack work like that, the page to order the data pack doesn’t cost anything to reach.
I would assume that the app would have click working
It’s a meme now. Give it a few years and it’ll be more than a meme.
One man’s meme is another monster’s inspiration
Drink a can of Monster to continue clicking
Stand up and clap to end the commercial
WELP. Can’t say I’m surprised.
It’s a good thing that market is so saturated that there’d always be a cheap uncomplicated mouse with all your features, unless you’re some sort of MMO mouse person.
That said, a company can probably still sell this to the government with enough lobbying. Those chumps love wasting cash on subscriptions they don’t need (looking at you, Adobe Cloud).
That’s why they’ll make it so Windows requires your mouse to have official Microsoft drivers for compatibility.
Hahaha, Windows, lol.
Nah, I already got the 24,99 family plan that includes 500 premium clicks every month. I just hope they don’t follow through with their crackdown on account sharing.
What do those premium clicks do?
When you click a button it’s actually two events, a button down and a button up. That is how you are able to grab something and move it, by clicking and holding and then later releasing.
Premium clicks include both the button down and button up events. Non-premium clicks are button down only.
Remember to unclick your buttons if you’re not paying for premium clicks. You wouldn’t want to continously keep reordering toilet paper from Amazon, would you?
I’ve managed to pay under $20 for all I can click mice. They last more than a year typically. Even with tariffs, I’m getting a chinese mouse, and y’all can f the f off.
That honestly sounds like a bad deal. Before recently replacing it, I had a $35 dollar mouse that lasted through 12 years of heavy gaming. Either you are inhumanly rough on your mice, or you might want to spend a little bit more for something quality.
I see you’re getting a subpar keyboard rate
