This might sound harsh but honestly atleast my life is really underwhelming, no matter what I try.
I have a wife, 2 dogs, an own house but a decently large debt for the house so I actually dont own it yet and a job I love (nightshift nurse)
It feels like I fckd everything up.
10 years ago my wife and I were in South East Asia, traveling,… now? I have to take care of the house, pay my credit, work
Its not the same going to Thailand only 2 weeks a year. I know many ppl cant afford it but I need that escape.
While my life isnt actually bad it just is bland though. I dont do anything other than play Video games, take care of house and dogs, watch movies, cook stuff…
But where is the excitement?
I quit going to gym, I think I should do that but I catch myself esther staring at the wall than searching for a nearby gym.
As a night nurse I have so much time in the day I would like to barista at a cafe but Im too scared to start that.
I would like to play Board games but my friends rather drink alcohol in Clubs and the next DND or Boardgame groups are 40 minutes by car.
See hpw confused I am I cant even structure this post properly.
I know money isn everything but Id travel the world, give my house away to rent, buy a new smaller house in a few years, do more sport, … somehow it feels life is behind a huge paywall and I have enough to have a decent life.
If I go to Thailand next year I have thoughts in my head like: “This money could be used to pay credit debt instead, or yard stuff, kitchen supply,…” With money I could enjoy it more
Sounds like some depression.
It seems like a little buyers remorse - the house and what it represents. There’s an adjustment going on and it’s not going well for you.
I’m going through something similar and I’m looking at your post feeling a little envious. A wife? Sounds good. I’m struggling just to make friends. A house? Wow. I’m renting a small room and had to buy a loft bed to make more space.
I’m definitely not saying this to make you feel better by comparing yourself to me.
It seems like you know that your life is good but that you’re not feeling it.
My life is definitely better than it was but I’m definitely feeling the absence of having someone close to me. I know that’s improving but it’s definitely not helping me feel better.
All I can do is try to focus on what I have and on what is going well. It’s really kinda awful because it doesn’t work well. The quiet moments are the worst.
I’m trying to change up a couple of things, such as adding in a few minutes of meditation and physical activity each day. Nothing too crazy, just something small.