The Onion doesn’t own Infowars yet. There was a bunch of confusion surrounding the auction and it seems that the people running it went behind the presiding judge’s back somehow. He plans on investigating the auction to see if any rules were violated, but for now the sale has been blocked.

They’ll confirm him. And all the rest. With no vetting. And, once he knows the path is clear, don jr and Ivanka and barron and maybe even Eric and Tiffany will get top jobs. And everyone will get security clearances. And one day, maybe 100 years from now, the 17 reasonable people who remain will throw tea and Bibles into a body of water and the water will be so hot that they’ll watch it steep, scoop some out, sit down for a cuppa, and then take their cyanide pills.