cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/28088684

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

🤣

    • kersploosh@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      43
      ·
      7 days ago

      The Onion got new owners earlier this year, and they seem serious about making it a sharp and relevant publication

        • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          18
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          7 days ago

          “Dear Onion readers. We here at the Onion can take pride in releasing regular quality absurdist humor in the form of satire news. In recent years real life events have pushed the boundries of absurdism. We’d recently published such articles as ‘Thanksgiving politics ends in nine year old comitting manslaughter’ to which 3 years later would seem less of absurdism, and more of a thing that actually happened. What we’re trying to say is, we would just love it if the real world could just stop being so stupid. We are trying to create dumb articles which rely on the concept of presenting a perspective that lowers the bar. How are we supposed to do that when the now president elect was seen for months spouting off the dumbest bullshit? I mean really America…eating cats and dogs? Maybe the boomers were right. Maybe marijuanna SHOULD be illegal. With rise of legal weed, you all clearly voted while high. How are we supposed to lower the bar of intelligence, when we’re limboing underground?”

          This is how I’d write the next Onion article.

    • halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      36
      ·
      7 days ago

      I mean the Onion was overshadowed only because real life went off the rails and became a parody of itself.

      • Donkter@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        7 days ago

        The onion was overshadowed because it stuck to an old media style and had a clunky adaptation to the internet. They’ve got good content now with things like Click Hole and some YouTube content but it was many many years of trying to be an online newspaper and nothing else. The saving grace of The Onion and why it’s able to come back as strong as it has been is that it’s the holy grail for comedy writers so it still gets the best writers in the business.

      • The Quuuuuill@slrpnk.net
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        7 days ago

        yeah the jokes were already pre-written and delivered. there was no commentary to make. no twists or turns to point out the absurdity as the real news was already bonkers