Long story short, I’ve known that I was trans long before I had even heard the word. There were signs as early as 4 years old and I knew by the time I was 8. I’m in my late 30’s now and I had come to a kind of peace about not transitioning. It’s something that I want but because of life, family, and a lot of fear I decided not to.
Recently a very close friend who I’ve know for decades came out to me as a trans woman.
I want to tell her about myself but I’m worried about planting seeds of doubt about her transition because I’ve known I was trans for so long and yet haven’t started transitioning myself. I’m afraid that if I try and explain why that she might internalize my reasons. If that makes sense. I’ve never told anyone my truth and I’d so love to have someone to talk to about it. Especially since my friends transition is causing me to second guess myself.
I would appreciate some thoughts on whether I should tell my friend.
I don’t know your life situation. But as a trans woman from the Bible belt, who got disowned by my family, divorced, abandoned by all of my friends and financially devastated as a result of coming out and transitioning: it’s absolutely worth it.
That’s basically what I’d be looking at. You are a very strong and brave woman.
Honestly, I don’t really think I am. I’m just surviving and doing what I can to cobble together a life worth living.
Like, yeah. Transition has been really hard, but so was my pre-transiton life, just in different ways. Nowadays I feel like I have so many more tools emotionally to deal with the constant onslaught of sorrow that life has always been.
Well, to me you are incredibly brave.
Thank you for telling me your situation. I don’t know what’s going to happen with my life but hearing from you and the others means a lot, and makes me feel less alone.
There’s courage in actively choosing struggle over misery