Saw The Substance last night. There was a boomer couple sitting a couple rows down, and I whispered to my wife “think they’ll walk out?” And she mentioned that they didn’t know what the movie was, because she had seen them choosing the movie sorta at random at the box office, after considering two other movies.

So I was sure we were in for a treat, because I had heard the movie was pretty gnarly. Well boy was I disappointed:

Tap for spoiler

The Substance is a boomer movie! It’s not about unrealistic beauty standards, it’s about how you do everything for your ungrateful kids and they turn around and eat you alive (literally). The boomer couple looked squeamish during the scenes with teeth and fingernails coming off, but I was also squeamish about that, and they made it through to the end, finding it funny like I did.

Night ruined!

Jokes, movie was pretty good, very clever style/audio, and some good absurd body horror. I was expecting to be more grossed out, but maybe I’m more desensitized than I thought, it felt more cartoonish in terms of gore so it was easy to chuckle at.