Believe it or not, I met the person behind BMF accounts I mean they could have been lying but considering how niche a poster they are, I don’t think many people would claim to be them or even admit to it… but since the circumstances of meeting them were quite extraordinary, I don’t think this person was really lying because it’s almost like anyone claiming to be a popular poster on this site, it’s cringeworthy.
I’m not going into detail how I got to meet them because opsec but I assure you, the posting is just the tip of the iceberg and far from a “bit.” It was back when I was still under the influence, I had just taken a few grams of ketamine which was normal for me at the time. The venue we were at was playing truly demonic music by the Chemical Brothers and the DJ was wearing an all red veil and would occasionally whip themselves and then turn up the music louder each time they did it. I was freaking out so I just started browsing hex and that’s when the person who claimed to be BMF came over and grabbed my arm and then stared at my phone, they were observing the screen as if they were astonished at the fact I was using this website. It’s embarrassing to admit that I use this website in public, I rarely do but I was freaking out and needed to post to calm down or just take my mind off everything going on. “What website is that?” the person asked, I just stared at them because I was so paranoid I thought they were a fed and they were gonna stop the rave and arrest me and shove me into a black van. I just said “hey um take your arm off me, it’s just some forum.” They took their arm off but their gaze was still fixated on the screen. I tried putting my phone away but they stopped me and said “chapo right?” I nodded and just looked at them. They smiled and then took out their phone which was some dinky tmobile advertised on the back with a cracked screen and a strip of literal bandaid over the crack, I guess to stop the glass shards from cutting their finger. They started showing me hexbear and by that point I was sure they were a fed and this was like some sort of honeypot. It just seemed like the odds were too extreme for this to be a coincidence and also the fact that this person was a straight caricature out of disco elysium, like the feds compiled everything into chat gpt and this was the result of your average hexbear. They kept trying to log in but they were having difficulty doing so but they were logging in as “Blackmoldfutures.” I wasn’t really into BMF that much not like the rest of you but I understood that they were a “power poster” so I was kinda semi in awe but also still paranoid that this was a bit. They got angry after not being able to log in and they literally placed the phone down on the floor, stood on it, and then started spinning whilst they were balancing on the phone. I honestly thought they were trying to do that in an attempt to get it to work again, maybe this was the reason why their phone was so fucked in the first place. Like any time they fucked up logging in they would just spin on their phone almost like undoing the damage by moving their body in the opposite direction of time in order to get it to work again. The phone went black but then they just restarted it and to my surprise it turned on again.
They were probably too under the influence to log on or just forgot their password at the time which is why they couldn’t log in, but after not being able to and doing the ritual I was just in complete shock and confusion kinda like this 😳. “It wasn’t meant to be” they said and then they fucked off into the crowd, and that was it. The best way I could describe it is seeing a cryptid in person and only you were the one to have that experience and nobody else could have shared it and the only way you can explain it is through a story that people might not even believe. I left shortly after and took the train home.
Believe it or not, I met the person behind BMF accounts I mean they could have been lying but considering how niche a poster they are, I don’t think many people would claim to be them or even admit to it… but since the circumstances of meeting them were quite extraordinary, I don’t think this person was really lying because it’s almost like anyone claiming to be a popular poster on this site, it’s cringeworthy.
I’m not going into detail how I got to meet them because opsec but I assure you, the posting is just the tip of the iceberg and far from a “bit.” It was back when I was still under the influence, I had just taken a few grams of ketamine which was normal for me at the time. The venue we were at was playing truly demonic music by the Chemical Brothers and the DJ was wearing an all red veil and would occasionally whip themselves and then turn up the music louder each time they did it. I was freaking out so I just started browsing hex and that’s when the person who claimed to be BMF came over and grabbed my arm and then stared at my phone, they were observing the screen as if they were astonished at the fact I was using this website. It’s embarrassing to admit that I use this website in public, I rarely do but I was freaking out and needed to post to calm down or just take my mind off everything going on. “What website is that?” the person asked, I just stared at them because I was so paranoid I thought they were a fed and they were gonna stop the rave and arrest me and shove me into a black van. I just said “hey um take your arm off me, it’s just some forum.” They took their arm off but their gaze was still fixated on the screen. I tried putting my phone away but they stopped me and said “chapo right?” I nodded and just looked at them. They smiled and then took out their phone which was some dinky tmobile advertised on the back with a cracked screen and a strip of literal bandaid over the crack, I guess to stop the glass shards from cutting their finger. They started showing me hexbear and by that point I was sure they were a fed and this was like some sort of honeypot. It just seemed like the odds were too extreme for this to be a coincidence and also the fact that this person was a straight caricature out of disco elysium, like the feds compiled everything into chat gpt and this was the result of your average hexbear. They kept trying to log in but they were having difficulty doing so but they were logging in as “Blackmoldfutures.” I wasn’t really into BMF that much not like the rest of you but I understood that they were a “power poster” so I was kinda semi in awe but also still paranoid that this was a bit. They got angry after not being able to log in and they literally placed the phone down on the floor, stood on it, and then started spinning whilst they were balancing on the phone. I honestly thought they were trying to do that in an attempt to get it to work again, maybe this was the reason why their phone was so fucked in the first place. Like any time they fucked up logging in they would just spin on their phone almost like undoing the damage by moving their body in the opposite direction of time in order to get it to work again. The phone went black but then they just restarted it and to my surprise it turned on again.
They were probably too under the influence to log on or just forgot their password at the time which is why they couldn’t log in, but after not being able to and doing the ritual I was just in complete shock and confusion kinda like this 😳. “It wasn’t meant to be” they said and then they fucked off into the crowd, and that was it. The best way I could describe it is seeing a cryptid in person and only you were the one to have that experience and nobody else could have shared it and the only way you can explain it is through a story that people might not even believe. I left shortly after and took the train home.
Melina you’ve done it again, this is the best post in this site.
Ok, I’ve started reading this crazy fucking post, haven’t finished, this better not be a bamboozle
Edit: i want it to be real so bad but 10/10, incredible post
why would I lie
Belugs, yer a fake news poster…
I want you to be in my life forever
I feel like this is a scene from Disco Elysium I never saw in any of my 3 playthroughs cuz I fucked up a dialog tree
I had no idea Pynchon posted on Hexbear
Moooooods? This one right here, new tagline
I was there, this is real
I was the flip phone
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You might be a fake news poster, but I still choose to believe this, because it improves my reality
How tall is bmf?
And how wide. How many cubic feet is bmf?