• conditional_soup@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      At this point, it’s probably a defense mechanism. Can you imagine the kind of soul crushing realization it would be to accept that you’re responsible for your spouse’s death because you got way too deep into shit posting on Facebook? It’s way, way more comfortable to displace that blame and rationalize it away.

      • jaemo@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        I sort of feel like the exceedingly casual posting on Facebook about this very world-wrenching moment in his life is proof enough for me that he’s made a few horcruxes in his time and has a maimed soul.

        If I was in his shoes, those 3 words would be on loop in my head, and I’d be curled up in a foetal position bawling, insensate, forever. Like the end of a particularly disturbing Black Mirror ep.

      • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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        9 months ago

        Yeah, but don’t you think he still, even if it is just subconsciously, believes it up to a degree?

        It must be gnawing at him.

        • conditional_soup@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          Yeah, he probably does. In between the space of consciousness and unconsciousness, when the frontal lobe can’t run defense anymore and the limbic system starts to lose its weighted clothing, it probably sneaks through. Probably right before he goes to sleep, or in his dreams, or when he’s spacing out on something, it sneaks up on him like the cat in the hat with a bat.

      • MrClayman@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        What’s the context?

        Edit: I didn’t know what any of this was in reference to. I wasn’t trying to ask for context in order to defend anyone. Apologies.

      • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        Is the dude still an antivaxxer or was there a redemption arc? I feel like we need some before and after posts.

        • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.worldOPM
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          9 months ago

          He just makes a lot of derogatory comments about women now, and just how Commie Pinko in Chief Joe Biden is ruining all the things. He shut up about COVID

          • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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            9 months ago

            So…he didn’t really learn anything from one of the darkest things that could possibly happen to a person. How…sad.

            • stoly@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              The problem is that most conservatives are simply incapable of introspection. Everything they do in life is in an effort to not be wrong about anything.

        • Scubus@sh.itjust.works
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          9 months ago

          Nah bro, you don’t come back from that. The only way to cope with that level of mental trauma is to convince yourself you’re even more right.

    • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.worldOPM
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      9 months ago

      By bombarding her with antivaxxer propaganda and threatening her with divorce if she got it sadly.

      Grown or not, some people are very much under their spouse’s control because of money and other vulnerability.

      • krashmo@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Sure, but that kind of thing mostly refers to housing and income. It would be trivial to get vaccinated without telling your spouse or anyone else who wants to make a big deal out of it. This lady made the bet that appeasing her husband was more important than getting vaccinated and she lost that bet. Her husband certainly bears a large portion of the blame for creating the situation she found herself in but she could have easily found her way out of it without causing a fuss. She chose not to.

        • BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.worldOPM
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          9 months ago

          I don’t think you’ve been in a relationship like what I’m talking about, and I’m glad for you. Emotional abuse is terrifying. I live it and it’s absolutely killing me and because of money I can do nothing different.

          • krashmo@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            I’m sure it is a very unpleasant situation to be in. That doesn’t change the fact that getting vaccinated is simple, cheap, and as anonymous as you would like it to be.

            • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              Is it? Did she have her own transportation? Was she able to leave the house without her husband’s knowledge, or without him keeping tabs on her?

              What you’re doing is victim blaming at its finest. Just stop.

              • krashmo@lemmy.world
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                9 months ago

                You can call it whatever you like but it won’t make what I’m saying any less true. Getting vaccinated is intentionally easy to do. Laws prohibit doctors and any organization with access from sharing medical records. A shitty spouse has less control over this choice than the vast majority of choices in your life.

                I’m sending the message to anyone reading this that it is possible to get vaccinated even if there are people in your life who don’t want you to do that. What are you doing besides telling people it’s important to get vaccinated unless it’s a bit more difficult than it should be? Who does that help? Everyone already knows that abusive spouses are dicks. That fact doesn’t need any more attention.

                • DABDA@lemmy.world
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                  9 months ago

                  It’s not a universal truth that you can just choose to get a vaccination without making an appointment or needing to involve insurance etc.

                  In a hypothetical extreme scenario, imagine having to weigh the risks between getting the vaccine that will potentially save your life and unexpectedly getting an appointment reminder text/email or follow-up contact that alerts the controlling partner and they potentially end your life for the “transgression.”

                  The vaccine being “cheap” is also not universal and if you aren’t allowed personal discretionary spending anything >$0 isn’t cheap enough.

    • medgremlin@midwest.social
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      9 months ago

      Domestic abuse isn’t just physical violence, it can also include manipulation, coercion, and other forms of control.

        • medgremlin@midwest.social
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          9 months ago

          OP has said elsewhere in the thread that they knew this couple at the time and she did not have a meaningful say in the situation. She was threatened with divorce if she had gotten the vaccine. For a lot of women, their economic situations are such that a sudden divorce would likely lead to poverty and homelessness as well as loss of meaningful support for any of their children.

            • medgremlin@midwest.social
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              9 months ago

              Then you don’t have a very good understanding of what domestic abuse situations are actually like. I hope that you can expand your understanding through empathetic learning and that you don’t have to learn via personal or close vicarious experience.

    • InternetUser2012@midwest.social
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      9 months ago

      Deserved too. I blame the dipshit that was president for it though. All he had to do was say to wear a mask and get vaccinated and so many lives would have been saved. The whole fighting over it would never have happened. It’s really pathetic, and these mouthbreathers are trying to vote his dumbass back in.

      • thatKamGuy@sh.itjust.works
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        9 months ago

        If I recall correctly Trump did originally, but back-peddled the moment he faced the slightest push-back from his mouth-breathing constituency.

        The weak man’s idea of a strongman, indeed.

        • EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          9 months ago

          I’m probably wrong, but I thought it went the other way? That he started out calling it no big deal, then shifted to mask mandates and vaccines are communism, then the whole ivermectin and injecting bleach thing, and then when he got caught getting vaccinated, he tried to backpedal and tell people to get vaccinated, but he immediately went back to calling it a hoax and whatever else when he got even a tiny bit of outrage from his base.

          • Serinus@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            He was always on board with the vaccines until he got booed at an event for promoting the vaccines. Then he became, outwardly, pro-vaccine (but more quietly), and anti-mandate.

            He was always anti-mask. And he tried to downplay Covid in general because he didn’t want the Dow Jones Industrial Average to drop.

    • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      I miss the old /r/hermancainaward before they started blocking out people’s faces. They all pretty much looked just like this dude, but it made all the posts much more real seeing the people that posted them.