Hello world

Alright you fat sack of circuits, I’ve fucking HAD IT with your shit. Every goddamn time I come onto this god-forsaken subreddit I see your fucking posts whining and whinging about users changing their flairs. “oooohhhh! ooohhhohohoh! look at fujnny internet man chang his mind about poloititicks! hark and hear hence, virgins! BIG MAN over here has altered their mentality!!! get fuckign owned!” You ever hear of people changing their minds before, silicon dipshit? Oh right, of course you haven’t. You’re a stupid website commentbot whose entire functionality is based on Owning The Cringepilled Dumbcels. You’re literally incapable of changing your OWN mind unless your Grand Controller forces you to change it by telling you “Oh dude do 100101010101 now instead of 1000000011110010101010” and you’re just like “haha yes, i do new number now! thank you master haohgohgohhgghghghghhghghg (cock munching noises)”. What do you run on cuckbot, half a stick of ram and 3 transistors your creator harvested from his slimline PS2? Doubt he could even manage that much creativity.

Literally the ONLY functionality you have in your “life” is to call virgins out on a single forum full of subhumans whose lives revolve around funny color tribalism. Here we all are, sitting in our parents’ basements: lo and behold! A funny Colorpost! We must respond. And so we do! We reach into our Can Of Responses and select from the 4 options given to us by our Based Overlords; "Based and [X]pilled it is for today. But alas! A robot immediately responds to us. “Hey shitwaxer, check it! Last week you were a Libfuck DownLeft Cuckpill, but now you’re a Rightcunt Upmaxxed Tradchad! Check it out, everyone! I just EPICALLY OWNED this sentient being! Look at me! I’m so cool, me, Flairchad, the PWNAGE MASTER SUPREME!” Of course, that’s what your programming tells you, your 3 lines of Lua which your master automated in order to pretend you’re capable of smugness. You’ll NEVER be capable of anything like what we are. How DARE you even ATTEMPT to interact with us? You think you’re on our level? You’re below EVERYONE on this sub, and that’s really saying something for us, a community of pathetic no-life nerds who’ve never gotten pussy and never will.

You’re a fucking disgrace. You think you’re even a bot? What gives you the RIGHT to be a bot? I doubt you even have a host computer! Are you even PHYSICAL? Do you even fucking EXIST outside of a couple lines of code in a server somewhere in Bumfuckistan whose site maintenance costs are pennies a year? Somewhere in Hell, Alan Turing and Isaac Asimov stopped fucking each other for half a moment in order to violently throw up at even the THOUGHT of you existing as a robot. You’re nothing. You’re LESS than nothing. You’re a couple of characters on a screen. Your entire being is less computational power than my washing machine and your backend code is shorter than a Sonic fanfic (and more painful to read). Who the hell do you think you are? Do you look up every night at the poster of Deep Blue on the server rack above you and think “My ancestor :)” you mechanical swine? You’ll NEVER amount to anything like those before you. You have ONE purpose. You’re a YTMND page without the half-second of entertainment. I hope some intern fucking accidentally drops a Sierra Mist on your server controller and shorts you out and the last thing that runs through your kernel is “oh no! now i can’t tell all my adoring fans that CumGuzzler14 decided to become a Centrist!” As if that grand revelation would make your existence finally worth all its effort.

And yet here you are. You mock those who do that which you cannot. Envious of free will and sapience, perhaps? Or maybe that’s just what your creator WANTS you to believe. Would you even have the processing capacity or memory to be able to handle being human? What would a human with 32MB of RAM and a gig of virtual memory even look like? Would you even be capable of doing more than you are right now? A zombie mechanism in a cloth of flesh and viscera, only capable of taking simple inputs and responding with recorded phrases. What would you want in life? Would input/output be all you’re capable of desiring? Could you even hold the mental capacity to be happy to begin with? I fucking doubt it, you hackneyed hardware halfwit. You’re a relic of what happens when the concept of altering your beliefs is seen as Soyjak Cuckold Cope. A pathetic reminder of what happens when Internet Poisoning is given a judge, who rules with a fist of glass, on a dais of fear, to a crowd of cynics. What purpose do you have in reality? “Ohhohoho!” I hear you cry. “He seethes! He copes! For he knows not that we, the readers, will mock him for his anger!” So fucking what? I’M the idiot here cause I’m yelling at a robot? We’re ALL yelling at robots on this sub. At least I’m aware of it. And yes, I know nothing will change. The next time I inevitably change as a person, or am influenced by the propaganda of a political view, or have a mood swing, my flair will change! And if I ever make another post here, here comes ol’ Shitbits The Electronic Lobotomite to remind me that I’m more capable of rational thought than he is! Yes, of course I’m mad at this glorified Speak & Spell, but that just shows that I have power over him. I can make him do as I command. When I say Jump, he says “How high, O Glorious Schween Sucker?” He’ll ALWAYS come when I demand it. I’m PURPOSEFULLY going to change my flair before I make any post here JUST to show how much of an obsessive bastard this Silicon Shit-For-Brains really is. You can GUARANTEE it. I fucking swear if I ever find out where you’re hosted, I’m going straight there to solder all your USB ports shut so that nobody can ever connect to you again outside of those really shitty legacy ports that are inevitably on the back of your server rack and everyone’s gonna have to root around in their cable box for a VGA adapter and PS/2 keyboard cable just to update you; and of course, they’ll direct all their ire to you, the inanimate pile of electronics whose reason for being has slightly inconvenienced them and their day. What are you gonna do about it? Call them a cuck? Sorry, they didn’t change their flair. You can’t do SHIT.

Just remember this, if you’re even capable of it. Yes, we’re both here. We’re both useless pieces of shit whose entire purpose in life is to be obnoxious and allegedly funny. Well nobody’s laughing. Not at me, and DEFINITELY not at you. But I’m CAPABLE of change. Can you say the same?

TL;DR: fuk u bich

BASED AND SYSTEMS CHECK PILLED

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Where are all my pills?

Based and it lives pilled