I once had an encounter that I never considered to be rape… just emotionally/psychologically uncomfortable. Until I was telling someone about it, and then it was like the act of hearing my own words made me realize what happened.
Thankfully, it wasn’t very detrimental to my psyche… but I still don’t much like talking about it, or really thinking about it. Beacuse it turns out, most people would consider that rape; including me when I looked from the outside-in. Abuse takes many forms. Mine just came in the form of emotional that led to physical, and I didn’t even realize what happened for most of that day.
I regularly look back on the sex I have had, even with my wife, and wondered, “did I ever do something that would count as rape?” I don’t think I did. I sincerely hope not, of course. I really think I always had consent from my partner when doing anything sexual, but I can’t prove it. And I don’t have contact with enough of them to ask if I really had the courage to ask, which I don’t.
So did I ever force someone to have sex with me? I don’t believe I ever did, but it’s possible. And if I ever did, all I can say to that person, if they ever let me know, is that I am deeply sorry for what I did and I can’t ever make up for it, but I would be willing to try.
I once had an encounter that I never considered to be rape… just emotionally/psychologically uncomfortable. Until I was telling someone about it, and then it was like the act of hearing my own words made me realize what happened.
Thankfully, it wasn’t very detrimental to my psyche… but I still don’t much like talking about it, or really thinking about it. Beacuse it turns out, most people would consider that rape; including me when I looked from the outside-in. Abuse takes many forms. Mine just came in the form of emotional that led to physical, and I didn’t even realize what happened for most of that day.
I regularly look back on the sex I have had, even with my wife, and wondered, “did I ever do something that would count as rape?” I don’t think I did. I sincerely hope not, of course. I really think I always had consent from my partner when doing anything sexual, but I can’t prove it. And I don’t have contact with enough of them to ask if I really had the courage to ask, which I don’t.
So did I ever force someone to have sex with me? I don’t believe I ever did, but it’s possible. And if I ever did, all I can say to that person, if they ever let me know, is that I am deeply sorry for what I did and I can’t ever make up for it, but I would be willing to try.