I don’t remember consenting to that photo!

I didn’t hate him because I wanted to be him, I hated him because he was a gary stu, fellow-kids sort of character.

It doesn’t matter how well you can tank the enemy nukes when yours alone still fuck the climate and ruin the biosphere.

But yeah, some numpty with their head up their ass probably plans on ruling over the ashes.

Because I’m bored and feeling silly while kiillng time:

Jason Vorhees
1313 Crystal Lake Rd
206-555-0123

To whom it may concern,

I discovered your Summer Camp Slasher position on StabbedIn, and I would like to know more about this position. I am a relentless killer who is up for a new challenge in murdering teens at camp. I think that I would be a good fit for this position because I have the ability to teleport, survive being shot/stabbed/set on fire, and am a dedicated problem solver.

I have 40 years of experience in menacing camp counsellors and have multiple endorsements from various local police departments. I am a dedicated killer who will keep coming back until the job is done or I am relieved of the position.

I believe this position will be a good fit for me, and I believe I will bring a lot of dread to the camp. Thank you for your consideration for this position, I look forward to meeting to discuss this opportunity and demonstrate my skills. I can be reached at the listed phone number or via email at [email protected].

Regards,

Jason Vorhees

Sure, this is close to what I use (I’ve tried to change it up a bit so I don’t give up too much info), and I’ve included prompts for what to fill in. I’ll admit it is very generic at this level, but you should be able to take these bones and make your own monster out of it 😁

Just remember to sell yourself to them, even if it feels icky and gross, that’s what job applications are. If you do exaggerate in your cover letter/resume, keep it reasonable and be prepared to support it if/when you get interviewed!

Name
Address
Phone #

To whom it may concern,

I discovered your <job title> position <on website, from person etc>, and I would like to know more about this position. I am a <description of yourself as a professional, include something about wanting a challenge>. I think that I would be a good fit for this position because <list qualities related to the field applying for, don’t be afraid to exaggerate (within reason) - sell yourself!>.

I have <number> years of experience in <your field> and <any professional certifications or relevant education or experience>. I am <list characteristics RELEVANT TO POSITION! Reference interpersonal skills! Sell yourself to the company!>.

<Comments about your excitement for the position>. <Thank them for considering you for the position>, <statement about wanting to learn more/meeting them to discuss>. I can be reached at the listed phone number or via email at <your professional email>.

Regards,

<Your name>

heh, and republicans are going to lose their fucking minds when they start to see the consequences of the choices their leaders made. Like when fruit is like $10/lb because its all rotting in the fields because everyone who normally picked it is locked in a border concentration reeducation camp.

Too bad we have to live with the consequences of their choices too.

Not with the rate we have school shootings

Just make sure you put a finger and a thumb on your forehead in the shape of an L. I’ve heard that helps.

I wrote a media conversion script a decade ago to do that for me, but upkeep was annoying when something like FileFlows makes it stupid easy to accomplish.

I still have that script somewhere… I bet I’ll cringe reading it lol. Still, it’s a great learning experience.

I was really hoping they offered a self hosting option.

I felt the same way until a friend of mine helped me redo my cover letter before COVID. Gotten 2 jobs since then and have tripped my salary in a handful of years. The latest gig (that was a salary doubling jump) was through a recruiter who said the cover letter helped me get the interview.

Bold of you to assume a fascist is capable of having internally consistent beliefs.

Why excuse the inaction that brought trump back to power?

They spent 1500x more on enforcement than they could have ever recovered from fare evaders. Just like every single other monitoring and enforcement program for public services.

Has there ever been a single program like that which is actually a net positive? Fare enforcement, food stamps means testing, public services with drug screens, “welfare queen” check ups, means testing, etc. I’m not aware of a single instance where it wouldn’t have been cheaper just to let a few people get benefits that “didn’t deserve them” than putting these restrictions in place

But God’s forbid we let poor people have nice things, or just to do good things for our society. Goddamned toxic puritanicalism. …

I only use audio books for pleasure reading, so I don’t know if that counts as ‘anything important’. As for focusing on the actual book, I’ve got decent dual focus, but I tend to aggressively pause my books when distracted to minimize that, and the app has an auto-rewind feature so it can roll back a bit (I have 30s) after a pause to cover anything you may have missed. Listening to a book or a podcast while driving/doing chores/anything that doesn’t require much brain power is pretty normal for me.

“You’re just starting drama over your family members voting for a politician who might try to legislate you out of existence, you just need to better understand them and not be self centered” is one hell of a hot take.

If I voted for a politician who said he wanted you dead just because of your orientation, I would expect you to hate me no matter the reason, because clearly I don’t give a fuck about you and your life when I can improve my situation when voting for them.

Maybe look up what ‘self centered’ means, because it’s not OP

Speaking as someone who cut their mother out of their life, I’d tell you to follow your heart.

Having once been in your situation, I have a feeling you already know what you want to do and you’re just looking for validation of that choice. And I will say you and your feelings are valid, because sometimes family just sucks - because family are still people and people suck. if you feel, for your own physical or mental health, that you need to cut her out of your life, do it. It’s your life, you get to choose who you associate with. You’re not obligated to hang out with assholes just because that’s where you spawned.

It will be hard. I’m not even going to lie to you there, but in the end you will be happier that you did. It was rough for me when I cut my mother out of my life, especially because I effectively made her homeless, but her toxicity and drama and danger she brought along was not worth subjecting my new family to.

Based on what you’ve shared, you e got plenty of reasons to cut her/them out of your life. Just make sure you have a good support network to fall back on if you do.

Echoing the audiobook suggestion. Much like you, I struggle to sit down and read, but if it’s an audiobook I can do other stuff while I “read”.

Is this advocating voting third party?

The exact opposite.

Because that isn’t how first past the post works, third parties won’t win.

That’s why the ambivalent option is the 3rd one, because the only two options they could win are bad but that was the option that so many “anti-genocide” people chose, because moral high ground is more important than trying to engineer practical outcomes.

Holocaust Harris

Lol, the brainworms are very strong in this one.

This is why no one takes you seriously.