(CW suicide and abusive family)

When I was 11 or 12 I tried to tell my mom I was essentially suicidal and her and my older brother made the biggest shit stink making fun of me. Driving home the fact that I was a child and can’t have therapy because if anyone in the house was getting therapy for suicidal ideation, it’s them not me. (They didn’t “believe” in therapy lol) I regreted it immediatly and was mocked constantly for the rest of my life with them. They made jokes about my self harm and called me emo.

The only reason I didn’t go through with swallowing those pills is because a friend I had tried it before me. I saw the “clinic” (it looked like a prison) where they put her and she told me about getting her stomach pumped and how her dad basically hates her now for the medical bills she put him through.

I always use the term “piss baby”

Big mood

I’ve been trying to taper off various things to operate on as few meds as possible. (Still need some) But this political climate and literal climate make it hard to stay away from antidepressants/anti anxiety meds.

Are you and your wife doing therapy? It always feels odd for me to go in once a week and be like “yeah wow capitalism still got me fucked”.

Here’s some info on Gabapentin addiction: https://www.addictioncenter.com/drugs/gabapentin/

Please recognize the symptoms and always taper off gabapentin, some claim it has withdrawls worse than alcohol.