Our Shrek who is in heaven, bless us with your swampy holiness and deliver us from the temptations of Lord Farqhuar. We worship you and your sacred donkey prophet, amen.

I didn’t choose the onion god, the onion god chose me

I just saw this starting screen before I was born.

Act like I ain’t picking Shrek, come on!

Git out muh swamp.

Whoa. Is that Shrek from Shrek 2?

No lie, I’d buy that for my wife as long as it was CZ or some other not-diamond gemstone.